SURPRISE(!) TROLLEY
As many of you may well know, it's a long time tradition in the house of fun, for Trent and I to rise early on a Monday afternoon and head to Leichardt to the Norton Plaza to do our weekly grocery shopping which almost always includes the Acquisition of Cigarettes, Wine and the occasional rare meats and poultry.
Since neither Trent or I drive (God forbid) and I don't do public transport, it is, more often than not, that we have to catch Taxi (one of man's greatest gifts to civilization), that is, if we miss the Donnie Blood shuttle service.
As one would imagine, getting to Norton St in a cab from 'the house of fun' is easy... But try hailing one from the side of the road with a full trolley of goods!
The Taxi Driver doesn't want to pick you up, because it means him flipping the boot, getting out to help pack your groceries, and all this on a busy street while he gets beeped at by busy, yet heartless by-passers.
In addition to this, he must help you OUT of the taxi with your groceries, and close the boot in 'who-nows?' which location and all AFTER the meter has been stopped, and the fare paid.
As you can see, this is not a favourable option to most taxi drivers. They want a single fare, looking like they'll be a quick 'in & out' type of person with no time to accept the $2.40 change from their $10 note. Which I am most days, and without a trolley.
Hence, Trent and I developed "SURPRISE(!) TROLLEY"... A three-step game to score a cab in a busy city with a trolley full of undesirably time/effort consuming trolley goods.
Step 1:
Do
not to draw attention to your trolley.
Push it along until you find a desired hiding spot.
Make sure it is in close proximity to you, but cannot be seen from the road. However it must be within grasping distance. Good examples of hiding places are; Behind a post box, Next to a family, behind a shop front etc.
If you're alone, make sure to keep an eye on your trolley. We play the game with two players, so while Trent guards the trolley, I hail the cab. If you are hailing, make sure not to make contact with your team-mate while the taxi is approaching. If the driver sees what you're doing, he'll turn off his light, or speed off.
Step 2:
Once you have hailed the cab, make sure to secure it. Talk to the driver, and say; "Can you take us to
, please?" NB. "Us" may be considered a contemporary colloquialism and may simply mean "me".
Jump in the passenger seat while you beckon your team-mate over with the trolley, or leave the passenger door open while you retrieve it yourself. This stops the reluctant diver from speeding off when the trolley is brought out.
Step 3:
Simply add the question; "Oh, and would you mind flipping the boot and giving my friend a hand with - THE SHOPPING???!!!??"
SURPRISE!!!
TROLLEY.
And there you go, this also leaves you in prime position to dump the trolley for an easy getaway.
Variations on this game can be SURPRISE(!) GROUP OF DRUNK GUYS, and one of my personal favourites; SURPRISE(!) WASTED GIRL. It's much cheaper than calling an ambulance for your friend who's fucking out, and much more rewarding on a personal level. Emma, Dylan and Stew York have been prime examples of SURPRISE(!) WASTED FRIEND on a few occasions.
Use the same principals as above for SURPRISE(!) WASTED FRIEND, substituting Step 3 for "... She/He'll be fine, and won't vomit on your cab, don't worry, we'll give you good tip (upon your discretion at termination of journey)"...
Remember Guys, Play Safe...
Until Next Time,
Xx
Hookie