My daughter said to me that this inauguration is going to be historical. I agreed with her (she is nine and easy to agree with except when she wants chicken on the bone, then we have a problem as I am a vegetarian and she is a meat eater) but reminded her they all have been pretty historical. I would put this up there with Cleavland's second I told her. Her eye twinkled at me because she knew I said something about that guy before but she just couldn't put her finger on what stupid information I was harboring in the recesses of my grey matter. I reminded her he was the only guy to be elected twice in non-consecutive terms so really Barry O was going to be the 43^rd POTUS not the 44^th and she didn't care.

And you don't care either. But I do. I care because when JFK got elected he was the first Catholic and when Carter was elected he was the first peanut farmer and John Quincy Adams was President who was the son of a former president and he was also the first president to lose the popular vote and still win. I care because GWB and JQA have almost the same resume (Adams lost the second time to Andrew Jackson, Why? Because he was not a giant Douche bag like John Kerry, duh). I care because tomorrow is the day that GWB leaves office. This is his last night as President and I could not be happier that he is leaving.

When the planes crashed down, I said “why is everyone standing behind that guy, he was in charge when the bad shit went down.” I was a traitor, but in hindsight, I didn't suck. When he went to war with Iraq I said “bad, bad idea.” I was “wrong” but turns out I didn't suck.

I did not have a blog at the time, nor did I have a book. I was writing the book and if you go to amazon.com and buy it you can read my thoughts about the war in Iraq and MLK day and all holidays, and you can laugh or hate me and write me a letter telling me how funny and/or what a dick I am. I accept both kinds of letters.

Have a good last night Mr. President, try not to break too much shit on your way out of the white house, because you surely have broken enough shit on your way out of the Presidency.

Anyway, the reason I am writing today is that tomorrow will be the day that POTUS 44 (43) will take office and he has no time to dick around so I thought I would give him some advice on how not to suck as President. Yeah I know, I'm a teacher not a political leader so where do I get off telling our newly elected leader anything? Well, I pay his fucking salary and so do you, so here you go...

1. Mr. President, tell the fucking truth. You can not pay for all the shit you said you could do, you knew that up front. Come clean. We are a nation that loves a good apology. If you could do it while holding Joe Biden's hand that would be good. No wait, that is only if you are seeing other vice-Presidents. Forget that last part, but really use your You Tube videos to tell the fucking truth. You can't fix everything. You know it. Stop pretending that you can. You do not write laws, congress does. Do you know how many people think you will wave your magic wand and make things better? Holy shit man, what were you thinking? Can you find a way to clear that shit up?

2. Mr. President, Don't fuck around on your wife.

3. Mr. President, I already think you are a bad father. Anyone who runs for President with children who are under 13 are shitty parents. Welcome to the club, do fucking better before you tell everyone else how to be.

4. Finally, Mr. President, be a pragmatist not an idealist. I can be an idealist, I am a teacher. You are the leader of the country, be pragmatic. Do what needs to be done, regardless of your next term. Do not spend the next four years trying to get four more years. That stops things from getting done and it fucking sucks. You have spent your whole life  trying to get here. You have arrived. You will get a coin, you will get movies made about you. You are a fucking rock star, now, do not suck and do your job.