I've been away.  Most of you did not notice.
It is ok. I suck

This blog was invented to keep myself from exploding, keep my mind focused and keep me sane.  I used it for that purpose, felt too much pressure to be funny all the fucking time and was going to quit.  I decided against that, kept the site up, ignored it, felt guilty, wrote once in a while, ignored it again, and now I want to say some things about shitty parents.  I know most of my blogs are about shitty parents, and there is a reason for that.

Parents: Do not be fucking shitty.
There are laws in some states for parents who feel too much pressure, who know they will suck, can take the newborn child to the nearest police station, fire station, or hospital and walk away, with no laws broken and fade into the night.

Some may say this is bullshit, that those parents should go to jail.  I say no.  I applaud those laws because the world would be much better if more shitty fucking parents simply went away. 

Fuck you.
I know I am prone to hyperbole but all this is true:

1.  I know of parents who left children unattended in the middle of the night.
2.  I know of parents who called up excited children and did their best to shit on their joy.
3.  I know of parents who sleep all day when the kids are home and stay up all day when the kids are gone.
4.  I know of parents who call their children liars when in fact, they are the big fucking liars.

Fuck you all.



I know of parents who stop everything for a stubbed toe.  I know parents who play catch all night even when they have work to do.  I know parents who deserve awards for being incredible, but they ask for nothing.  I know parents who refuse to lie to their children.  I know parents who love their kids without condition.  I know parents who remind their kids every day how awesome they are. 

Thank you all, thank you all very much.

Do NOT:
put your kid on a leash
call your kid a liar unless the kid is ACTUALLY lying
put your own needs above theirs
they need you, they need your time, your attention your love.  Do NOT buy a fucking motorcycle when your daughter needs pants
Fuck