The room was small, just big enough for the table that Thomas sat at. Thomas was considered the baby among his circle of friends but they weren't really his friends; they were Railynn's. Rai, as she liked to be called, and Thomas had been married for two years. The first year had been wonderful; they slept late and took trips every weekend. That had slowly dwindled away and the marriage had turned cold. Rai thought it was her fault, that she wasn't pretty enough or creative enough. That was why she had converted their shed to a workshop; Thomas loved woodworking. Rai had hoped it would make him happy and bring some of the joy back from the early days of the marriage. She had even installed a small window air conditioner and brought in the table. ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Driving home from work one day she saw a bar going out of business. There was a giant sign out front saying everything must go. That was where she found the stool. She covered the back wall with peg board and hooks giving each tool a place of its own. She had surprised him on his birthday. She prayed for a smile but only received a polite thank you. Her heart had been crushed; all that she had done seemed to mean so very little to him. He went out to the workshop every night and would spend an hour or so milling about. Rai hadn't seen a new piece in months. She would sit at the window and watch him each night as she made dinner. She almost stopped him tonight; Rai had almost begged him to talk to her. She chickened out just like she had the night before when he made the walk out to the shed.
He sat in the stool and stared at his tools. Over the past few years he had put together quite the collection. Thomas had the perfect sized chisel no matter the size of wood that he was working with. That had all changed a few months back. He remembers the day vividly, it was warm and breezy; exactly what you would expect from ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />California in the fall. He and Rai were going to dinner that night for their anniversary. Thomas had just changed jobs and they required a physical. Everything went fine with the doctor until the eye exam. The doctor had noticed a spot; that was what the doctor had called it a 'spot'. The next doctor, a specialist, told Thomas he had Vitelliform Macular Dystrophy.
Looking at the doctor Thomas remembered thinking it was a long string of words just to say you were going blind. His vision started to deteriorate quickly and soon most everything was a blur. Thomas had never told Rai, he couldn't figure out how. Then she gave him the shed so he could work. Now he had a place devoted to a hobby that was slowly slipping from his grasp. He could no longer see the fine detail of his carvings. Even Rai's face was a blur, her stunning eyes lost to a haze.
Sitting here now he knew he would have to tell her. Thomas knew if he didn't he would lose her. He had already lost enough this year. The doctors told Thomas his vision would deteriorate and within a year he would lose his sight completely. He would have to tell Rai that as well; tell his beautiful and lively wife that he would be crippled soon. He reached up, turned the light off and sat in the dark. Thomas reached out the tips of his fingers touching the smooth wooden handles of the chisels. He took one in his hand turning the cold metal blade over before running his finger across the blade's edge.
Her voice startled him so much so that he dropped the chisel. "Why are you sitting in the dark?"
Rai's voice was sweet and calming. Thomas had never really noticed her voice before, never appreciated it for its simple beauty. With her face going and the rest of the world slowly slipping away with it Thomas took solace where he could. "Just trying to get used to it."
His voice was dry and sullen. Thomas couldn't see the change in her expression, the fear that raced through her as Rai's eyes drifted to the chisel that was now imbedded into the floor. She wanted to ask what he meant. Rai wanted to know if what she thought she saw was true. She wanted so desperately to know, was Thomas so sad and lonely that he would take his own life or was her mind putting meaning were there was none? She wanted to speak but her voice would not come, her throat closed as she started to speak.
Thomas sat staring at the blurred silhouette of his wife as she stood still in the door. He wanted to talk but he had kept this from her for so long. First he was afraid she would leave him but soon it seems she was going to no matter what he did or did not do. Even now it seemed like an eternity that the two had been staring at each other. He ran his tongue across his dry lips; it was a habit, a nervous tick of sorts. Finally he couldn't hold it in any longer "I'm going blind."
Three simple words that could not possibly contain all the emotions that swirled inside him but they could wash away the fear that had gripped his wife. As he spoke the words Rai could feel the weight being lifted from her shoulders, it wasn't her that had pulled them apart. Then the words truly sank in and she saw the life she wanted so badly to return slipping away. She wasn't sure how to respond. She wanted to say something; she wanted to comfort him in some way. Only when she tried no words of comfort seemed to come to mind. Thankfully he spoke taking the burden from her, "It's genetic so it's one more thing I can blame my folks for."
He chuckled breaking the ice and allowing a brief moment between the two. Rai had moved past her fear and was able to begin looking to the future. She took a step inside the wood shop and put her hand on Thomas' shoulder. "How much longer?"
Thomas turned away avoiding the question. He leaned down to get the chisel he had dropped but the room was too dark. Even as Thomas groped he could not find it. Thomas sat back up and let out a breath he couldn't find the chisel and at the moment. Rai realized instantly how the question must have sounded and tried to say something but Thomas stopped her. "You mean till I am completely blind?"
"That didn't come out right." Pain oozed from Rai's voice as she stepped closer sliding her hand across his back. Once she was behind him Rai brought her arms together around his neck and pulled herself closer. "What I mean is, I love you and we will get through this."
Her breath was warm against the back of his neck. It had been a long while since she held him this close. Thomas reached up and took her hand into his squeezing it just firmly enough to show the love he felt for her. He leaned his head into hers turning to face her, "I'm scared."
Rai slid her arms free and moved around to face him. She knelt down taking his head into her hands. She looked at him and smiled before leaning in and kissing his lips. He slid his arms around her back and pulled her close. She laid her head on his shoulder and whispered softly "You have nothing to be afraid of my love, because I will always be here to hold your hand."