Right then....

Every now and again we learn new things that challenge the beliefs that we've held dear for the majority of our lives. Does this mean that the beliefs we've grown up with were never really that important to us? Or is it more likely that our belief structure is a changeable entity that mirrors the fluctuations of our lives?

I'm one of the most querulous people that I know. I have what has been christened as a network of "fussy boxes" that people have to tick if I'm ever going to seriously consider them as a compatible partner.

The person cannot smoke, or do drugs. They have to be into music - not necessarily the same type of music as I'm into but they have to feel some kind of passion towards it. They also absolutely cannot have blonde hair.

Now, most of these stipulations are pretty much set in stone. Well, apart from the blonde hair one, that would just be mean, and slightly shallow. But on the whole, they're pretty infallible.

And then someone comes along who likes pomegranates and the whole fussy box and belief structure gets thrown out of the window.

Why is this?

It's a good question. A friend of mine once said that I was potentially denying myself something that could be great on the basis that someone had the wrong colour hair. It's an extreme example but it proves the point. So is it just a case of I've realised that I'm looking for something that doesn't exist and I've come the conclusion that no-one will ever tick all of the fussy boxes? Or is it just that if you meet someone special enough, you want to accept them for who they are? For everything that they are?

And why pomegranates?

The Greek Goddess Persephone was kidnapped by Hades, the God of the Underworld and was taken by him to live as his wife. Her mother, Demeter, Goddess of the Harvest, went into mourning for her daughter and all vegetation and greenery ceased to grow. Zeus could not leave the Earth to die so commanded Hades to return Persephone. There was a rule in ancient Greece that if anybody ate or drank something in the Underworld, then they would be forced to spend eternity there. Hades tricked Persephone into eating four pomegranate seeds before he released her and so because of this, she was forced to spend four months of every year in the Underworld. During these four months, Demeter, her mother, mourns for her and provides no fertility to the Earth - this was used by the ancient Greeks as a way to explain the seasons.

My point is this, we can spend the rest of our lives looking for someone that fits all of our preset requirements and miss everyone else along the way who could have an immensely positive impact on our lives. The seasons will always change, nature dictates that it must be so. If we don't adapt and evolve both in ourselves and in terms of what we're looking for, we will be alone for a long time.

Alternatively, we could realise that the pomegranate lover, who has blatantly flouted some of the rules you had put in place, is actually the person that you've been looking for all along. They're not "perfect" according to your belief system, but then your belief system is surely flawed - you've spent your whole life using it as guide to find someone and it's let you down.

Pomegranates are definitely the new perfect