I always think it's funny when I have indelible convictions about some of the most trivial and mundane ideas.

Whenever I get into deep conversation about these things (and I always manage to, somehow), I get all worked up about what is ethical and appropriate for the greater good and how to not lose your sense of self and all that stuff. And at the time, it sounds like the right and honest thing to say. But the problem with having these strong convictions is that people change. Especially me.

When I go back to revisit my convictions, I find that they either don't exist any more or there are new justifications to circumvent the old rationale. For example, I thought that I'd try to be a real person and never use MySpace as a mass marketing tool. But somehow, I've shifted away from that ideal. Now, I put up my banner (see below) on every new "friend's" page that I come across.



Initially, I thought the whole idea was impersonal and a bit pretentious. But as I moved away from MySpace to Facebook, eventually Myspace became more of the "advertising" site and Facebook was the real social network site for real friends (now do you understand what I mean about justifications?). And I know that eventually, Facebook will become the new advertising site. Sad times. In fact, I already wrote a note about it on my Facebook page.

Now, should I feel conflicted? Am I selling out? Am I succumbing to the desire to be successful? Am I joining the ranks of the rest of the hopeful/annoying MySpace "artists" that want nothing more than to increase their "friend" and "played" stats all for more "visibility" in order to "attract" label interest (even though it's all a farce)? Not even close.

I guess that brings me to my point... and maybe it should be viewed as a disclaimer as well. There are convictions that I have that will change. There will be ideas that I will brow-beat people for having and then turn around and start subscribing to the next month (don't take it personally if I brow-beat you... it means I like you). I still have a lot of ideas to work out, just like everyone else. For example, for the longest time, I thought that writing songs about relationships and love was such an inescapable cliche. I thought that it was trite and that the people that did it were similarly so. But I've come to the realization that putting those kind of superficial limitations on my creative output was not only silly but actually detrimental to me as an "artist". I want to be honest with everything I do and there was a time when I had ideas that I wanted to express about relationships but I wouldn't allow myself to because it would be "copping out". Stupid, right?

Anyways, there are some very basic principles about music that I believe will never change. I still believe that success is a relative idea. I'm already successful, in many aspects of my life anyway. The desire to have more fans or to make exorbitant amounts of money is and will always be secondary, even tertiary. The other is that I write music that I must enjoy as a listener. That is my idea of musical honesty. Obviously, my tastes will change. I listen to Bill Withers, D'Angelo, Prince and even newer artists more than I do Jeff Buckley and Jimi Hendrix (although, they are still my go-to guys) and that will be reflected in the music I make.

All I'm saying is that no matter what people may say about the music I make and the person I am, just know that I think about these things too. A lot. And if they don't make sense to me at the time, then I don't do them. Just don't jump to any conclusions and say that I'm conceding to pressure to be "liked" or "successful" because clearly, I'm not. To be honest, couldn't really care less if a million people enjoyed my music. If ten people do, then I'll keep playing and keep writing.

With much respect,
Kenny