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Ryan



Last Updated: 9/23/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 29
Sign: Capricorn

City: San Francisco
State: California
Country: US
Signup Date: 4/14/2005
Sunday, August 12, 2007 

The NYT had an article on Chinese counterfeit "Harry Potter" books, and included some plot summaries and translated excerpts, here:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/10/opinion/10potter.html

These are great!

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Harry Potter and the Leopard-Walk-Up-to-Dragon

Published: August 10, 2007

Harry becomes a fat, hairy dwarf after being caught in a "sour and sweet rain"; he loses all his magic and can get it back only by obtaining the magic ring. After he does, Harry becomes a dragon that fights evil. Voldemort has an even more powerful brother who makes trouble for Harry.

Excerpt: Harry doesn't know how long it will take to wash the sticky cake off his face. For a civilized young man, it is disgusting to have dirt on any part of his body. He lies in the elegant bathtub, keeps wiping his face, and thinks about Dudley's face, which is as fat as Aunt Petunia's bottom.

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Harry Potter and the Half-Blooded Relative Prince

Published: August 10, 2007

Harry realizes that his magic powers need improvement. He transfers to Qroutes School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the biggest and most exclusive school of witchcraft and wizardry on the Royal Continent. But appallingly, Harry becomes a blood-lust monster. He is finally beaten by his classmates.

Excerpt: Summoning charms? Everybody was surprised. Summoning was a kind of magic, but under normal circumstances, Harry had only basic skills in summoning low-class monsters. ... However, the black smoke that emerged from his hand showed the monster summoned by his art was at least some senior magic beast with special energy. ... How could he get a senior beast out of nowhere within only one month's time? Nobody had ever heard of a magic beast named Little Fatty Fortune; certainly no one knew this was just a name that Harry invented himself. Everybody was eager to know how Little Fatty Fortune would perform, except for one person. That was Andoga.

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Harry Potter and the Chinese Porcelain Doll

Published: August 10, 2007

Harry Potter learns that Mysterious Man (Voldemort) is going to China to persuade his rival Yandomort to attack Harry as well as the Western magic world. Harry decides to find Chinese Porcelain Doll, who could beat Yandomort in China. On a passenger steamer, Harry makes friends with Long Long and Xing Xing, who are part of a Chinese circus. It turns out that Naughty Bubble, the boy who usually bullied Xing Xing at the circus, was Yandomort. After Voldemort killed Naughty Bubble's mother, Big Spinach, he took Naughty Bubble as his disciple, and taught him black magic to make him become Yandomort.

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Harry Potter and the Big Funnel

Published: August 10, 2007

After six years at Hogwarts, Harry Potter becomes an intern sorcerer and is assigned to teach at the Honiton School. Harry has a painful time in his aunt's house, as Dudley has met a belly-dancing girl. As Harry prepares to report to his job, Bat Bug warns him disaster awaits.

At the school, his students become wooden stools one after another. Harry doesn't know whether an evil student is behind this, or if his old benefactor Hagrid is making a mistake, or if the shadow of Voldemort has returned. Did it have something to do with the big funnel?

2:14 AM
 
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