Dear God

It is with grave sadness and disappointment that I feel compelled to write this letter of complaint regarding our limited lifespan and fragile mortalities.

The average lifespan of a human (your chosen species – in your image and all that) is about 70 years or so. The Earth we live on is millions of years old and, by all accounts, you’ve been around for all eternity.  Now, given that you have created us to exist within a span of time called “eternity” I think that a measly 70 odd years is a bit of joke.

I don’t want to appear ungrateful as the gift of life is, at times, not a bad gig at all, but given your limitless resources (creation, all those miracles with the water, wine, lepers and that thing you do with being everywhere at once) don’t you think you could see yourself fit to making life a bit bloody longer?

Whilst we’re on about it, what’s with all the bleeding mystery?   Why do you operate a “need to know on need to know basis” policy? It’s not as if us knowing the meaning of our short existence is going to bother you is it? I have other complaints which I outline briefly as follows:

·         Why inflict Natural Disasters?

·         Why do alcohol, nicotine, recreational drugs, fatty foods and sugary deserts ultimately shorten our lives?

·         Why do I get uglier and heavier as I get older and wiser?

·         Why have you created humans who are hell bent on killing me and my children in your name or in the name of some other God?

·         Why does the council only empty my black bin once a fortnight?

Given my dissatisfaction as outlined above I would be extremely grateful if you could use your limitless powers to begin addressing these issues at your earliest possible convenience.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Kindest Regards

Paul D