George Bush has been trying to persuade young Americans to stop having sex with each other by giving them a silver ring. The photograph on page 3 suggests the policy has been at least semi-successful - the girls in the photo definitely have silver rings. But new research suggests that teenagers who are taught total abstinence are no more, and no less, likely to have sex than kids who get normal sex education. Bush 'braved ridicule' by recently extending the programme to 20-29 year olds. It is a well concealed insult. From this story, you might describe the policy as 'brave', but there stronger showing would be for 'ridiculous'.
Couples have had their heart and brain activity analysed while doing various exciting things including, as covered on page 10, eating chocolate and kissing. The finding is that the chocolate got them going more. 'Readings from 12 couples in their 20s, who had electrodes fitted to their scalps, revealed that eating chocolate made the heart pound harder and for longer than a mere kiss.' This is presented as showing that chocolate is more pleasurable than kissing. Whereas it only reveals that chocolate is more pleasurable than kissing someone with electrodes attached to their head.
The forthcoming elections in Wales are a source of worry to the Labour party, if a story on page 12 is to be believed. As well as a resurgent Nationalist and Conservative parties, Labour are likely to suffer if turn-out is low. This is why the Labour first minister, Rhodri Morgan, cites his biggest foe as 'General Apathy'. This mythical adversary, dressed in full military regalia (if he can be bothered), would make an excellent cartoon strip, should the Electoral Commission ever plan an advertising campaign to get the youth back into the polling stations.
A series of Harold Pinter dramatic scenes, all held together by extracts from one of his speeches, has been held at a venue called the Workshop at the University of Leeds, and it is reviewed on page 38. It's called 'Being Harold Pinter', which must have seemed a very sensible title. But a review titled 'Being Harold Pinter, Workshop, University of Leeds' suggests that the University is genuinely offering a workshop to help people to be Harold Pinter. A laudable, but ultimately futile, ambition for almost everyone.
Jose Mourinho manages Chelsea football team, and he talks on page 1 of Sport about the efforts to get their goalkeeper Petr Cech back and playing again, after a nasty head injury. He seems to be doing OK now, thanks largely to a special skull cap that protects him. Mourinho describes the rehabilitation period, including, 'In training…people coming to make the best helmet for him. There were a lot of question marks over him.' Sounds like a natty design for a helmet. Cech's helmet must have been created by the same person who did the Riddler's suit in Batman.
Various bloggers are talking about what BBC3 should do, and their thoughts are compiled on page 10 of MediaGuardian. One blogger wonders if BBC3 and BBC4 should be seen simply as 'feeders for their big brother or sister'. The siblings in question are presumably BBC1 and BBC2. BBC1 is the brother, and BBC2 is the sister. I am alarmed at the certainty of my own sexing of the networks. I feel horribly like my mind has been manipulated by brand people.