Unrequited love. There are poems detailing a person’s agony because of this emotion. There are songs written by artists describing how horrible and helpless this beast makes you feel. Suffice to say- its a big deal.

Here is something I read recently in Hosea:

Hosea 11:1-5
 1 "When Israel was a child, I loved him,
       and out of Egypt I called my son.

 2 But the more I called Israel,
       the further they went from me.
       They sacrificed to the Baals
       and they burned incense to images.

 3 It was I who taught Ephraim to walk,
       taking them by the arms;
       but they did not realize
       it was I who healed them.

 4 I led them with cords of human kindness,
       with ties of love;
       I lifted the yoke from their neck
       and bent down to feed them.

 5 "Will they not return to Egypt
       and will not Assyria rule over them
       because they refuse to repent?

This passage of scripture is something that normally, would make me feel great about what God does for me, about the love He has for me. Not so. In fact, this passage makes me feel horrible. It makes me feel like an ungrateful, disgusting, unworthy piece of filth (which for all intents and purposes- I am).

How could I know that God loves me so much, yet continue to break his commandments? How could I continue to spit in His face with my actions, and the way I live?

God is many things for many people, but for me, he is my father. He is what a father should be, all the time. He knows my faults, and wants only the best for me. And most importantly, I yearn for Him to be proud of me. In fact, if nothing else, that is one of the things I crave the most from God- knowing He is proud of what I am doing. But do my actions reflect that? No. Because it is easy to lose my focus and take my eyes off of Jesus, and most importantly, because I’m a sinner.

Now, hear my heart, I know full well that God’s grace is what gets me into heaven, not my works. But with that said, I long for an encouraging word from my Father. God has shown me that He is proud of something that I am doing many times in my life as a Christian, and every time He does, it is easily the most mind-blowing thing ever.


Father, I love You. I ask that You would have me be in awe of You everyday. That You would be the only person that I look up to. You astound me on so many levels, yet somehow I fall away from You constantly. Father, guide my steps to walk Your path, and follow what You would have for my life. Please Lord, give me strength, because I know it is only by Your grace that I am who I am today. It is only by Your love for me that I have any hope in true fulfillment. Thank You so much for Your Son, and His sacrifice for me. Help me live my life to the full, as You have promised, and help guide my steps to glorify You in everything.

Amen.