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This move is about changing places... but it's also about figuring out who I am, evaluating that - and changing what needs to be changed. That's already started, thanks to a "new" friend.
If you know me in real life - you probably know me pretty well... and you know that for the most part, I don't like gay guys. It isn't necessarily the guys themselves that I don't like - it's the drama, the drugs, the booze, and the whoring around.... Many of you have asked me how it's possible to be gay, and to not like gay guys.
I've always justified my dislike for that part of the community in a very... simple (by simple, I mean both not-complex... and ignorant) way. I have said, time and time again, that I fight for equality - and in order to be treated as equals, we have to prove that we are, in fact, equal. I've asserted that the gay people who drink regularly, who smoke, do drugs, and have copious amounts of sex with copious amounts of people give the remainder of the community a bad name, and preclude us from equality... by proving that we are not, in fact, equal.
Tristan challenged my assertion that we are unequal - and he challenged my assertion that to deserve equality, we have to be equal.
We had a conversation, and I thought about it - and I'm sort of disappointed in myself.
I am a paralegal and a social scientist. I strive for equality... because marginalization of anybody is wrong - and I've been as much a perpetrator of that marginalization as any slave-owner, any spouse-abusing husband, and anti-immigration fanatic, and any homophobe... and I'm sorry for that. I am sincerely disappointed in myself for my failure to adequately advocate for the entire community, and I apologize.
For years, I have believed (and told many) that the queer community will never obtain equality as long as people in our community drink excessively, do drugs, and sleep around - I have been blaming that portion of the queer community for our lack of equality - I have, in fact - been actively dividing the community... for equality sake.
Take a second to re-read that. I have been dividing the community... for equality sake.
That's not equality.
Whether or not I agree with how you live your life... you deserve to be treated equally. Whether or not you are a part of the same subculture in the queer community as I am you deserve to be treated equally - it is not your fault that we have failed in equal rights, those who marginalize us (including myself) are to blame.
Because somebody challenged the foundations for my beliefs though - and managed to completely debunk them... there will be one less perpetrator in the marginalization of the queer community.
I'm sorry, and I hope you will accept my apologies.
4:13 AM
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