Feel good about the decision to give someone a chance to survive
Planning your child's future is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make. Whether you choose Parenting, Abortion or Adoption, you will want to make an informed decision. Here are 8 myths about adoption that birth parents struggle with. Recognizing the myths and replacing them with facts will help you determine what is best for you and your future.
Myth 1: Birthparents who care about their child would never consider adoption.
Some agencies out there will make you feel like a cold, uncaring, selfish person if you consider adoption. Maybe you're afraid others will think you don't love your child. In fact, women who make adoption plans for their children are among the most courageous, for they put their child's needs first. Your pregnancy conselor can arrange for you to speak with birthparents who have already placed a child for adoption and struggled with the same issue. You will see how much they love their child. Allowing your child to be born is a loving choice. Choosing to place your child with a family that can provide a stable, loving home is an act of love and sacrifice.
Myth 2: A birthparent will never know anything about her child and his or her adoptive prents in the following years.
You may be thinking that you will never know anything about your child's future life if you choose adoption. But today, the sharing of information is very common. As the birthparent, you can work with a pregnancy counselor to decide the type of adoption plan that is right for you.
Myth 3: Adoption is an irresponsible solution to an unplanned pregnancy.
Perhaps you are ruling out adoption because you think you would be irresponsible if you made that choice. You may feel that your consequence for being sexually active or for becoming pregnant is to parent your child. If you feel that you are not ready to be a parent, making an adoption plan may be the most responsible decision you can make. Responsible decision making requires being konowledgeable about all alternatives, recognizing the consequence of each choice, and, finally, making a plan in your child's best interest.
Myth 4: A birthparent will forget about the child released for adoption.
Believing that you must forget a child placed for adoption makes an adoption decision unnecessarily painful or even impossible. Remembering your pregnancy, your baby's birth, and those precious hours or days shared with your child in the hospital will help you feel positive about the adoption plan you have made. When you remember, you'll want to feel that you made the most loving, mature, and selfless decision possible in your current circumstances.
Myth 5: All adopted children grow up to have serious psychological problems.
You might have heard that adopted children have serious problems with drugs, alcohol, personal relationships, and mental illness. This is simply not true! In our experience, there is no difference between children raised in adoptive homes vs. those raised by their birthparents.
Myth 6: Birthparents will have emotional problems if they choose adoption.
Some birthparents view adoption negatively because they fear they will never recover emotionally. Some are afraid of having a mental breakdown. Some feel they will never again be happy. A pregnancy counselor will help you choose the type of adoption that will be best for you. You will grieve the loss of your child and that grief can be painful, but the ability to grieve is a sign of mental health...the healing will come.
Myth 7: A child doesn't really need a father.
Current research shows that children benefit from both a father and a mother. While not all children raised by a single parent will have difficulties, many birthparents choose adoption to provide a two-parent home for their child.
Myth 8: No one can love a child as much as the birthmother can.
Adoptive parents can love their child as fully and as selflessly as biological parents. Good parenting is a matter of unconditional love and acceptance, consistenly nurturing and caring in a way that puts the needs of the child first. Adoptive parents love their chldren as much as if they had given birth to them.