I mean "our show"
 

this is for you stephen, i hope its boring enough.

Version07 tour blog

Again this year OBELISK & MC Cat Genius were invited to play at Version in Chicago. Except this year Version didn’t prevent UMBROS from being able to play Springfest and Stephen and Channing would be performing on that most hallowed of all hipster holidays 420. The three of us had gotten along so well on tour and produced so many wonderful inside jokes that I was going to tag along with them for their shows/partying in Chicago. My desire to join them was also compounded by my desire to experience the Zaireeka listening party at Permanent Records, and wanting to hang out with my old roommate John who just moved to Chicago to work for an amazing indie record label.
However the monetary repercussions of touring and the fact that Salvatore decided to cut my hours had left a large hole in my wallet. So I begrudgingly decided to decline my invitation to Chicago and do sound at Eastside Friday and Saturday.
Stephen and Channing left for Version on Thursday morning so Thursday I spent most of my time on campus mopping around feeling sorry for myself knowing that my two friends were on their way to Chicago where they would no doubt have the best weekend that any cat pilot duo has ever had no doubt; drinking pbr and black sparks while surrounded by numerous hotties who all no doubt create amazing art or music. Bored between classes I read the latest Lumpen, which of course was pretty much full of articles meant to make everyone in the Midwest want to be in Chicago for Version.
Bald Eagle was playing a show at the College in Rolla, and I decided that maybe a trip down there with them would help improve my mood and provide something more interesting to do than sit in my house. However there wasn’t room in their van for a fifth person so I decided to find a second to drive down to Rolla with me in my car. I called a few people who all couldn’t come because they had some prior engagement that they were locked into. I thought about it some and decided that it was unlikely that Rolla could provide enough fun to outweigh that twohour drive down and back.
Since I was going to stay in Columbia all weekend I decided to make the most of it. I was determined at this point to try and have just as good of a weekend as Stephen and Channing. Our friends Barn Owl were playing a show at Shattered so I decided to head down there because those guys are always a party on top of being sweet bros, and I havnt seen them since they got a fourth member. When I showed up at the venue the first band was playing and since I had no interest in seeing a Alkaline Trio cover band fronted by a coke head, or an altcountry band sore off their defeat at the MU battle of the bands I decided to head up to Eastside to bide my time and in hope that there would be someone interesting to talk to there.
No such luck, Sal was behind the bar and the place was full of red necks and frat boys, but it was $3 pitcher night so needless to say I had a sparks and washed it down with a pitcher. After all that Evan Exempt shows up and starts talking to me about how distressed he is that he isn’t getting laid and how frustrated he is with music, the whole time hitting his head with his hands a lot. In my drunkenness I tried to explain to Evan that there is more to life than fucking hot chicks, like hanging out with your bros, drinking beers, and going on tour. I think all this feel on deaf ears because he kept hitting himself on the head and then took his leave of me to hit on some girls.
Eastside was getting full of idiots and I figured those trash bands had to be done by now so I decided to head back down to Shattered to catch the Barn Owl set. I walked right past the door girl because I didnt want to pay and I was just drunk enough to be a dick about it. I walked in and saw the Barn Owl guys tearing down their equipment. I was pretty disappointed and we all had a fun exchange of what the fuck you guys played with out me, and where the fuck were you we just got done, then Michael told me that I didn’t miss much because it was a really weird show and invited me back to their house for an after party. So a chatted a few people up before giving Logan a ride to the after party, that was probably the drunkest ive ever driven, I know kudos to me, but we made it there just fine and Logan said I did a good job.
Well the Barn Owl afterparty was just like ever Barn Owl afterparty a bunch of sweet dudes hanging out listening to music with ample beer and pot whichever you want. I don’t remember any details from this part of the night except that I arm wrestled a bunch of guys, Zach kept saying that Logan masturbated more than anyone he has ever met, and some girl kept doing headstands. Also it was technically 420 so we all did what needed to be done. Needless to say it was a really fun, chill afterparty which lasted until 3or4.
I didn’t go to any of my classes of Friday, instead so I wouldn’t feel like a complete bum I went to the grocery store and cleaned my house a little. Then I went to work. The show was Monobrau, Kodiak, The Ants, and Bald Eagle. Jeremy showed up with a really good unibrow, and I wish his set would have been longer and it wasn’t quite as intense as the last show I saw him play, but it was still good. Kodiak played well and then their friends The Ants played. They were a terrible band, and big jerks that excelled at being a pain in the ass. Then Bald Eagle played and it was awesome. They played about half new stuff and half old stuff, personally I like the new stuff better than the old stuff and im sure people will come around to it cause there are only so many times you can hear so deck before you never want to hear it ever again.
After the show I convinced Danny and Nardy to come to an after party with me. Of course since Nardy was going Parley had to follow along and since Parley was going Maggie had to follow along. Sal gave me a bunch of these new things he got for eastside called pocket shots, which are like capri suns with liquor in them, perfect for afterpartys. So I make it to the afterparty and find my way to the dance party where there are a bunch of hipsters dancing terribly and a bunch of anarchists hogging the keg. I drank more. Then I run into Metal Mike also known as straight edge Michael and he is wasted, he offers me some of his southern comfort and then I tell him that stuff is for girls and suggest that we drink these disgusting pocket shots that Sal gave me. Needless to say I think that drinking run out of a plastic bag with straight edge Michael trumps the time I drank beer out of a dirty pot with Tyler Powell. I was then out of all the beers I had brought and even though the last thing I needed was more I went scavenging. I found some frat guys who had a ton of beer and started talking to them about how great it is to have a beard and have a mullet. Eventually they gave me a bunch of beers to get me to leave, but hey I got what I wanted, I was three natural lights richer. At some point I stole Nardys hat and wouldn’t give it back which I sure he loved cause he is so bald. And then later decided that it would be a good idea to take off my shirt tie it around my neck and just walk around the party with my jacket on showing off my sweet chest hair. In the midst of which some girl asked me for my phone number and said we should go swimming some time, which sort of helped me feel less stupid remembering that even the next day. Also Billy Schuh showed up and it was great because I got to hear for the 100th time that he things UMBROS needs a drummer, but then I just called him old and short until he felt emasculated enough and then I left him go cry in his beer and or try to hit on some girl. Danny gave me a ride home and I gave him his guitar that I had fixed up for him. Then I sat around for a while puked a little and then went to sleep.
I woke up the next day feeling like shit, with dried puke in my beard. I blame those rum Capri Suns. I ate some breakfast and then spent the rest of the day feeling sick, learning how to play jesus and mary chain songs, and thinking about how great it would be if I could figure out a way to come up with enough money to buy a see through plexi glass flying v guitar to play at springfest. on my way to work I picked up some dinner at a taco bell and it sucked, it sucked really bad, like ive never had worse taco bell in my life, which was awesome because I was still hung over. I wont even comment on the actual Eastside show except that there were maybe a dozen people over the age of 21 there, and of course this gave Jarrett enough time to get drunk and be an ass. After the bar closed Sal showed up and guess what he was drunk too, and when he found out that the show was sub par he threw a temper tantrum which resulted in him throwing a suitcase which landed on my foot and then telling me that I don’t understand because my parents pay for all my stuff, which might I add is not true in the least. But you know he is an idiot so what are you going to do. It was a good way to cap off two days straight of partying.
Sunday I went to church or something I don’t remember.
Needless to say Stephen and Channing had a far better weekend in Chicago.


 

That is fucking amazing. I love the 'Our butt' song, too.

Have you heard of Frank Sidebottom?