Right now I feel like so much is going on in my head. I am at that certain time at night (You know it well) when you try to sleep and thoughts come to your mind, and you just cannot stop thinking about anything and everything, and I feel like my life is going no where right now. SO I am sitting down and praying and trying to figure out, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??? Things are so much different since I am out of high school, an I planned on going to Tyler in fall, but money got out of hand, and my FASFA did not go through and so my dad told me we had to move. I had no job and no car, no phone and no chance of getting hold or doing anything, and I felt like I was in such a rut, and I still do in way. SO I am asking myself what to do? If things go my way, I will find a way to Tyler tomorrow and me and my dad will sit down with Finical aid and talk about registering for spring classes. I just hope things will start coming together with my life. I feel like I have lost some friends, and lost contact with others, and it sucks. Here I am, a high school grad, doing nothing right now. Most of my decisions can effect the rest of my life, my future....and that is scary. I keep praying, asking what to do, but nothing. Silence. Is this nothing more but a trial from God? I just do not understand right now and I am hoping things will come together for me and my family. I just hope that I can pick things up and go with something new, because one thing is certain.

Things HAVE to change.

Josh