It's very early morning and out of no where I'm impressed upon by the Holy Spirit to share with you my battle with a very severe case of fibromyalgia.

Nowadays, more and more individuals are becoming more familiar with the disease. However, about 8 years ago, when I was first diagnosed, I had never heard of it , never knew any such thing exist and didn't have a clue to what it was. Sad to say, very few doctors knew anything of it either. And being that I was, and very much still is, a devoted Christian woman, full of faith, full of life, with the contagious smile and the bubbly personality...I didn't really seek to know anything more about it ...other than it's name.. no, not in the beginning.

Many people with fibromyalgia are still able to work, and maintain a somewhat normal lifestyle, especially in the early stages. And many more, unfortunately, are bedridden, depressed, in constant excruciating pain, and have no answers from the medical community.

As for me, I was experiencing symptoms for many years before I was diagnosed and would always say it was an attack of the enemy because of all the people who would be touched through our ministry or because so many received salvation or deliverance. In retrospect, I guess I thought of it as some sort of price I had to pay for the sake of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Until the pain became more frequent and more crippling and time in bed grew from a day or two to a week or two. I continued to speak aloud God's Word and declare my healing and in the midst of darkness, depression, and near despair, I held on to the only thing I had left....My FAITH IN GOD!

And then, one day all of a sudden, I would get out of bed pain free. Cooking, cleaning, enjoying my family, working on my music again, excited about life ...and just as suddenly as my joy appeared, the most incredible most unbearable kind of pain would grip the muscles in my legs, shoulders, back, arms,... everywhere. After laying down to rest and becoming relaxed, I could literally see the swollen muscles. And for another period time, I would be in that kind of painful state.

Eventually, I had to give up my job as a teacher's assistant at the elementary school where my three kids attended and had to postpone my teacher's degree, my house had to be adjusted to accommodate a wheelchair and other equipment and my husband and children became my caretakers.

You can only imagine all of what goes on mentally when you're suddenly unable to do all the things you enjoy, besides the physical and spiritual warfare. Even when you have lot's of money, lot's of friends, or even a brand new 6,000 square foot home, or new automobile.. it means nothing when you cannot enjoy those things or enjoy life ....when you're in pain and need someone to help you get out of bed, and everything you're used to doing for yourself. All of sudden things that used to be important to you ...aren't important anymore.

For a long time no one ever knew of my condition. I always listened to their problems and encouraged them and God knows, even in my pain I cannot help but to smile! The joy of the Lord has always been and will remain MY STRENGTH! So, when I began to miss too many events, or it became longer periods of time before I could call up a friend or visit with family it became more and more apparent that something was wrong! As "the church" learned of it, I would get more and more comments like "you just got to go deeper in the spirit and get your healing" or "You better put the devil under your feet" and " aww you'll be alright ..it's all in your mind". I know everyone means well whenever trying to encourage someone in an area they are totally unfamiliar with. Many people, thank God, haven't ever had to deal with something that lasted longer than a month or a year even. It's true though... you do learn who your real friends are when you're at your lowest point. The story of Job took on a whole new meaning to me.

Well, I've been in and out of hospitals and doctor's offices and every doctor I have seen tries to treat me as though I have rheumatoid arthritis. Which is completely different, although there are a few similarities. Yes, the level of pain is triggered by rainy or cold weather. But, no it is not the joints or the bones..it's the muscles.

Over the years, I've definitely researched and continue to update myself with the latest information and with anything made available to treat this chronic illness. All while doing all I can, when I can , finding creative ways to be a blessing to my family and everyone I meet and yes, standing on the promise of God that says I'm already healed. I now know of things that can help ...while I've learned of nothing, not even the morphine I'm prescribed, that takes the pain away completely.

But I know a man who specializes in things that seem impossible. Jehovah Rophe -God, Our Healer. " With God all things are possible..to them that believe". He was despised and rejected of men and "Surely He has borne our griefs, and surely He has carried our sorrows; yet we did esteem Him stricken , smitten of God and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon Him and with His stripes we are Healed!!" Isaiah 53rd Chapter.

In all of this, God has given me hope, courage and strength to carry out His will for my life in the face of adversity and affliction. No matter what I go through, I understand that no weapon formed against me shall prosper, even when it looks like or feels like it is! I understand now that real faith is pleasing God and loving others despite what you're battling....anyone can have faith when they have nothing facing them or with nothing to conquer.

It does not take as much Faith to do God's will after the storm has passed ...as it does to fulfill His purpose right in the midst of the storm!!! While the wind is still swirling, the lightening has not ceased and the thunder seems to get louder the more you declare the name and the works of the LORD!!!   

        Faith is the substance of things hoped for

If you know someone who has been sick, or maybe dealing with something far worse than this, just remember to do all you can to be a blessing to them and their family. Whatever it is that they are unable to do, whether it's cooking, driving, or whatever it may be, if it's within your power to help them, do all you can and God will surely bless you for it. If you are the one who has been dealing with sickness, make sure you declare out loud the word of God that promises your healing and no matter how sick you feel, always trust God with your life, your destiny and your future. Surround yourself with the word of God or music that lifts the name of Jesus so to leave no room for the enemy to speak lies to you about what you're going through. Make sure you have been seen by the doctor and they know what you're experiencing. They don't have ALL the answers but God created them with knowledge to improve or help save your life. And last but not least, HOLD ON TO YOUR FAITH IN GOD!!!! When the doctors have done all they can do, when you prayed and had others to pray and you aren't seeing results in the natural...you must hold on to your faith. Believe that it's not over unless God says so.And along as you're breathing you are here ON PURPOSE!!!!

Yes, I still have very sick days even now..and Yes, GOD STILL HEALS!!! There is no failure in Him or His Word. I can't say I fully understand why my life has taken this route but one thing is sure..I wouldn't take nothing for the journey! I'm not going no where until God's purpose and plan has been fulfilled in my life....AND THE HALF HAS NOT BEEN TOLD!!!

Arleen Dorn