Ok, so I'm finally getting somewhere in the new house. We're still unpacking but that's mainly because we've got too much shit. Had a proper surprise yesterday though;

About 10 years ago I started to write a book called "Rapid Eye Movement". I got a long way into it and then printed off a couple of copies for safe keeping. I then moved house from Kingston to New Malden and subsequently lost the hard copies. Two days after my arrival in New Malden we had a massive power surge and my entire computer got wiped.

I lost everything - my band, Babywax, were half way through the second album (Virtuosity) and I had all the master files stored on my computer. The book got wiped. Three years of accounts and eighty four years of porn.

Gutted as I was about the book, my priority then was to get the album finished as the record company had already given us £100k and as I much as I'd like to have deleted the debt apparently HSBC aren't hard linked to New Malden Electricity Sub Station.

Years have passed (10 in case you're a burger). Our new house is like a maze. In essence it's two 17th Century Cottages and a Barn all connected together. So, the Doc and I have finally found a way to spread our shit through 22 rooms rather than pile it in to 4.

All of the loft crap has been bundled in to a limestone lean-to around the back of the Barn. Unfortunately, being a lazy git means that I haven't yet bought a padlock for the door. So, all the boxes are just piled up, and all full of meaningless shit that we're too sentimental about to cull. I went in there yesterday just to organise it a bit better and an animal has been in over night and knocked some of the boxes over. As I cleared up the mess I found a ream of paper that turned out to be my book!

So, am now reading my book again tosee if it's worth finishing. My writing has improved massively in ten years so I suspect it may be shite.

Which reminds me. I've been commissioned to write some short stories (only 360 words each) by the BBC. I wrote a longer version of my Twin Towers/Wembley joke and sent it in and they loved it, but then Joss pointed out that she's heard another act doing that joke.

Now, I wrote that about 6 months ago and told it once at Jongleurs in Reading. I suppose it could be an obvious link between the two, and sometimes acts do genuinely write the same jokes, but all the same it's pissed me off.

If any comedy types have heard it from someone else I'd really like to know who.

Righto. Am offski. My new computer runs the Tomb Raider Legends in full graphics mode and it's fucking awesome, so I shall mostly be completing that today.

Tomorrow I shall tell you all about the ghosts in our new home.

Ta ta.

Dan