WIN A CHANCE TO STALK MORGAN!

You love Morgan...his dj skills, his movies, his music videos, his drive in, radio station, twitter tweets, his everything!

Well, now you can put that emotion and devotion to good use and STALK HIM! Yes, you, the obsessed fan, can WIN A CHANCE TO STALK MORGAN! Imagine...following Morgan home after his dj gigs...invading his privacy...transforming his discarded trash into your own personal talisman! Now, you can turn that nightmarish dream into dreamy reality by stalking Morgan!

* YOU get to spy on him!
* YOU get to write him rambling letters!
* YOU get to call him up in the middle of the night and tell him what you're doing with your hand!

Here's how to enter:
1) No purchase necessary. But, you do have to buy the Matters of Consequence movie(not available in stores). That's the rules, sorry.

2) Study, memorize, and absorb the entire movie, and have text from it tattooed upon your person, and/or scrawled in blood (preferably your own) on a mirror in a public restroom or Pottery Barn.

3) You must have ticket stubs from at least 13 Shim Sham Club shows and 13 Drive Ins. You also must memorize all 557 of his Tweets on Twitter and be able to recite any line from any tweet at any time at Morgan's discretion.

4) After one of his dj nights at Bar 107, introduce yourself to Morgan, tell him you are interested in stalking him, and see if he's "cool" with it. If he's not, please see rule #5.

5) "WIN A CHANCE TO STALK MORGAN" contest is open only to super-hot "model quality" non-smoker female residents of the United States and/or a lush tropical Latin-American nation who are single, aged 21 to 35, heterosexual, disease-free, sober(when necessary), employed or independently-wealthy, physically fit, leggy, easy yet pure, AND NOT professional (nor amateur) psychotic stalkers. English-speaking is optional but preferred, although exotic tropical dialects are welcome.

6) Although the word "STALK" is used in the contest name, at no time will activities associated with stalking be permitted, including but not limited to invasion of privacy, obsessive and fawning attention, threats of violence and/or suicide, breaking and entering, frequent and unwelcome telephone calls, bank fraud, mail theft, wiretapping, endangerment of relatives, appliance tampering, automobile sabotage, automobile tampering, appliance sabotage, murder, rape, arson, assault, and/or anything else scary, mean, dangerous, irreparable, illegal, or naughty. Also, please don't stalk his friends, either, thanks.

7) Nudity is permitted at all times, unless you are icky. In fact, please email some of your own personal nudity to Morgan now.

8) Although the contest winner is indeed required to have sex with Morgan at his sole discretion, at no time is contestant allowed to carry, bear, or raise Morgan's current or future children.

9) This contest is a total joke, please do not stalk Morgan. However, please do have sex with Morgan. That's absolutely fine.

10) Employees of Bar 107, Angel City Drive In, Devil's Night and/or their immediate families, and Morgan himself, may not stalk Morgan. However, employees of the pornography industry are encouraged to apply.

11) Void where prohibited, except the sex part. Thank you, and please stalk safely.

COMING SOON: "WIN A CHANCE TO GIVE MORGAN ALL YOUR VICODIN!"