That's what happens when your used to working overnights and you find yourself spending the night at your parents house counting down the hours to an event you cannot control. I finally broke down today, something about driving through cornfields and blaring country music that always drops all my walls. My mom is so strong, I know that there is no way I will ever be half the woman she is, I have been blessed to have her as my role model. I remember when I was in college and she first got sick, I sat in this graveyard/grotto a the catholic church next to campus and spent hours in the middle of the night on my knees. There was just one special thing in my life I wanted my mom to be a part of before she died and God came through on His promise. Since that moment I've excepted that every other moment I have had with her is an extra blessing. I feel guilty that I can't pray for her when sh e needs it most, but I am to afraid of th answer I may recieve. I want to scream about how amazing she and how she doesn't deserve this but I know that so many other amazing people suffer to, why should my pleadings be heard over theirs. Shit, I'm crying, myspacing late at night can be dangerous! I am finally starting to realize that no matter how hard I try, there are two things I cannot control: love and death. And that is terrfying to me.
--Sent from my Helio