Time, always on my mind......

Its amazing how stress can wreck your week. Here at the Revolution (Our house and Laboratory) we have dealt with unemployment, death and the IRS this week. Shitty huh? Now, as one of the last Beefs left in the wild, I can find no precedent for many of my woes and no peers to assist me so I've developed a system for handling hard times.
1. Find an oasis
There are many times during the course of your day when many of life's evils are incapable of reaching you. For example, say you've got to eat some shit (Not actual shit but some sort of food). You can say, "Awe man I got my arm stuck in this tractor. Well cant do anything about that now! I'm gonna grub." Or if you've got to drop a funky deuce. You can take that time and reflect on how you have to chill out. Even the president can say, "Hold on Mr. Prime Minister of Albania, we're gonna have to put this nuclear crisis on hold. I've gotta drop a bomb myself."
2. Don't be scared to let it out
One thing the discovery channel has taught me is that apes have the right idea. They get pissed off, they bang their chest, and they jump around like crazy bastards. Right on. When I get overwhelmed I just pull up a bunch of grass, lift some heavy object and yell at a photo of Dick Cheney. If you happen to actually have Dick Cheney present, refrain from yelling. Our studies have shown that he may shoot at you.In the end, the combination of exhaustion and the realization of how ridiculous you look will brighten your day.
3. Take out a globe and hit yourself in the face with Africa
No matter how hard you hit yourself its not as bad as what they have to go through over there. Ebola is a son of a bitch.
So if you follow these simple easy steps you can defeat stress before it defeats you. Remember the words of the Dali Llama.
"If there is a problem and it has a solution, you can fix it so why worry
If there is a problem and it has no solution, You cant fix it so why worry"
Thanks for your attention friends. Love to all of you.
BEEF