The Lord has removed the log of selfishness from my eye, and now I can see clearly the selfishness of people.(john7:1-5) It kind of sucks because they are missing out on all the possabilities to be a blessing and just give. It would be a wonder to see what the church would be today if christians were more like Jesus. Bill Johnson makes an interesting comment on how everything that God created gives. Every thing that is in its right order gives of itself from leaves to the trees to animals.
The way that God has been showing me this about myself has been in many ways. These past 5 days i have been fasting, where i have only drank liquids like coffee and water, no food at all. It has been tough for it is the first extended fast I have ever done. It has been good  because it gave me a greater sensativity to the spirit and opened my eyes to see things that were there all along but I could not see because of my selfish motives.
I heard an interesting definition of joy a long time ago and it always stuck with me
J-jesus
O-others
Y-youself
That we should be giving ouselves in this order. Firstly to Jesus, than to others, than to ouselves. I have just finished the book Reese Howelle Intercessor by Normand Grubb.  It is a biography on resse howells. He was no special guy, but Holy spirit just called him, like he calls us all, to a selfless life continually being obediant to Holy Spirit and pouring himself out for other people. The only difference was, reese actually did it and it is an amzing account of how god used this man in a very powerfull way. For example,  Mr.Howells lived a standard of "first need first claim" that if he knew of someone that was in need, lets say financialy, and he also was in need, but had the money. He would give the money away if the other person needed the money first. He also was not allowed to pray for a need of someones if he was not willing to meet that need himself. It is intence to hear of supernatural provision for a life laid down in such a way.
(another book i have just finished is Final Quest by rick joyner. read the last chapter. be careful now, these two boks might just change your life.)
The purpose of this blogg is not to complain, but hopefully put into perspective a couple of thing that the lord has given me permission to speak about. Because I had to be shown in myself these things before i could really have liberty to speak correction on them.
Its actually disgusting how christians think when it comes to themselves. We get all impatiant and in  a fuss when our food isnt ready at the restaurant when we wan it, or the eggs arent' cooked to our liking, or how some dont want to go evangelising because it is too much of an inconvenience to meet somewhere out of thier schedule, or to get up a little bit earlier to go to early morning prayer. We must realize that the needs of others are more important than those of ourselves. We must be willing to deny what we want for the good of those who are in need. The poor, the orphans, the sick. Many of whom have stopped crying out because people never came. And i am not even talking about going ove seas to feed the poor in africa, there is pleanty of need here in the west, it will just be a little harder for us to see fruit, or the result of our actions here, because this culture in unaware  of our desperation and hunger. But, Jesus did say to sell all that we had, give to the poor, and follow him. but he couldnt of actually meant that could he?...
And really, it's not even about our nice clothes, or our ten pairs of shoes, our fancy cars, or our big houses. It's about the heart. God could care less if we all owned 1000 pairs of shoes and all lived in castles. All he wants is a heart that is completly His. 2 chronicles 16:9 say The eyes of the lord are searching to a fro throughout the earth to strongly support a heart that is completly his. And God's heart is for people. He is the all sufficiant one, but he uses us. His body. He uses his body to  provide for the world. We are his body, and Jesus' body was broken for us so that we could be made whole. Many People cry out to God and ask to be used by Him, But whne they do they feel used. We have to realize hat we need to come together as a church, not be some dismembered bride, and begin to break our selfish desires and motives down for the good of this world. In 1 john 3:18 it says not to love in word or in tongue but in deed and in truth.
It is time for the church to rise up and become what chirst has intended. We need to become the solution for the world's problems. He has made us able! Just as jesus's body was broken for us, so we should be broken for the world.

Anyways, I hope that this has shone some light on our Westernized, Capitalistic rhetoric.

I just pray that the spirit of wisdom and reveltaion be released over you to see the goodness of god and the filthyness of self. That a holy hunger will arise within you to serve others and pursue God in a way that you have never experienced before.

in love

More Lord!