Christ On A Bicycle

Give me liberty
Or at least give me Christ on a bicycle,
And I'll give you the greatest Christmas story ever told to man.
The crowded sidewalks full of shoppers, staring at painted windows,
Yelling in the subways like New Year's Eve
Traffic pileups on the boulevard,
Guys dressed up in Santa suits, expecting your children to believe that the old heavyweight still exists
Just because the old legend says so.
And the Sunday papers
Lathered with extra stuffing of holiday savings galore.
And the movie channel rolls out all those Christmas delights.
But now, now let me tell you one thing:
There is no such animal
As a white Christmas
For fear of sparking lawsuits
Or racism to mingle in with the beautiful holiday cheer
That plagues us the rest of the year.
Yes Virginia, there is indeed a Christmas
But not as it used to be.
For as far as we now know
Old man Moses
Placed black roses
Upon the grave of the dear Lord,
Who died for Christmas presents
One sad and gray December morn.