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Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ

Rebel Gunslinger


Last Updated: 11/24/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 32
Sign: Aries

City: ALTO
Country: US
Signup Date: 1/3/2007

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009 
Bobby the ugly, bare-footed guitar player has been unemployed for a while. He's a fabricator/welder, and a damn good one if you listen to him, but he's says he "cain't even get a job overta chicken shack." To keep him in cigarettes, he's taken to rounding up metal from around his place and fabricating plant stands and decorative wall hangings and peddling them to housewives flush with cash.

The other day, we were sitting on the bench, swinging our feet and smoking. "Now," Bobby said, "something good has come out of my unemployment. Since I been building these plant stands and shit, I found out I gotta artist hiding inside me. Let me show you." He skipped to his truck and pulled his newest stand from the bed. "Now, see here, see how I painted that fuckin' rose red, then I mirrored it by puttin' some red in the fuckin' leaves? That's where my artist come out at."

I love that crazy coon-ass.

*********************************************

I dreamed that I was delivering a present to my friend Megan, who had moved to Dallas (not really...just in the dream...and I have since forgotten what the present was, but it doesn't matter because the part I DO remember is so retarded.) For some reason, the only way to deliver the present was by donkey-powered wagon, and the wagon had wheels that were 80 feet tall, and the donkey-driver wore a straw hat and chewed a hay straw. Because donkey carts are a really sloooow form of transportation, we caused a traffic jam that really seemed to enrage the citizens of Dallas. I was thrilled, so I jumped off the wagon bed and performed a dance routine between the wagon wheels that started with high kicks and ended with fireworks. I got banned from Dallas, and I was okay with that since J.R. moved out.

**********************************************

Mexicans really know how to party. I knew this firsthand, thanks to the street parties I used to attend in high school with my friend Jessica, but I had forgotten. Until this weekend, when the Mescans down the street had a what sounded like an amazing Quinceanera. And I'm sad that I wasn't invited, especially since I always wave when they ride their horses through my neighbor's yard.


M@rty

 
I once drove a u-haul through Dallas morning traffic it couldnt go past 55, I wish they would have banned me....
Mexicans are the only people I know that will bring a Keg and a band to a childs first birthday party, any excuse is a party
 
Posted by M@rty on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 01:43 AM
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Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ
Rebel Gunslinger

 
I hate Dallas. It's the only Texas city that likes to pretend it's not in Texas.

I love Mescans and their parties.

 
Posted by Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 02:23 PM
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ZEMMIWINKLE in time

 
HHAHHAHAH! wonderful! I am starting to think you got another book just about your dreams! Hope you are considering it!
xxooo

 
Posted by ZEMMIWINKLE in time on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 02:02 AM
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Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ
Rebel Gunslinger

 
Last night I dreamed that Jane Krakowski stole my video equipment so she could make an exercise video for "Broke Down Drunken Whores". What the fuck was that about I wonder.

 
Posted by Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 09:30 PM
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Jack
Jack Christensen

 
I can never go to a Mexican's house without being fed...and served ( a man musn't do a damn thing for himself)...kinda creeps me out...not the being fed part.  I don't think you get invited to such events...you just show up.  Bring a small dish of something and it's on.

 
Posted by Jack on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 02:05 AM
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Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ
Rebel Gunslinger

 
I forgot about that. A case of beer and I woulda been in.

 
Posted by Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 09:30 PM
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Jonathon

 
HAHAHA

 
Posted by Jonathon on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 02:38 AM
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Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ
Rebel Gunslinger

 
It's funny cause it's true.

 
Posted by Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 09:30 PM
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Staley
Staley Buchanan

 
Oh, those funny mescans with their really tiny feet and their real short legs ....they just crack me up....maybe they were afraid to ask you over to their party since you must seem like 8 feet tall to them.
 
Posted by Staley on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 03:15 AM
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Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ
Rebel Gunslinger

 
Tiny mescans are my favorite. I call 'em pocket Mescans. And your theory rings true. I am like a giantess among them. But I just want some lengua tacos.

 
Posted by Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 09:31 PM
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[Corpus] Christie
Christie Love

 
I think more things need to be accomplished via donkey-powered wagons, personally.  The wheels could stand some downsizing, but the donkey business?  Now that's just fine.  Probably more satisfying to ride through your neighbors' yard than horses, too.  Win-fucking-win!

 
Posted by [Corpus] Christie on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 12:06 PM
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Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ
Rebel Gunslinger

 
The only real drawback is the donkey orneriness, but I think I could live with it. I love it when they ride through the yard, because the neighbor's spend so much time on theirs in an effort to make my slovenly yard feel bad. Least mine doesn't have horse shit.

 
Posted by Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 09:33 PM
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El Solo Lobo
Temy Beal

 
Maybe Bobby can sell a piece to the American Folk Art Museum and get enough to buy his own chicken shack and invite some Mexicans with donkeys and big wagon fer the Grand Opening.
 
Posted by El Solo Lobo on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 02:22 PM
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Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ
Rebel Gunslinger

 
Are you some sort of marketing genius? I suspect so.

 
Posted by Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 09:34 PM
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Carla

 
"Mexicans are the only people I know that will bring a Keg and a band to a childs first birthday party, any excuse is a party"

This is, indeed, true, and I love them for it.  However, round these parts, we have Hmong folks.  It seems that they slaughter a pig in the center of various apartment complexes and proceed to party on 100% alcohol (which they refer to as "rice wine") for several days to celebrate an infant's ear piercing.  And I love that aspect of them, also. 



 
Posted by Carla on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 04:21 PM
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Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ
Rebel Gunslinger

 
Texans will also party at the drop of a hat, 'specially if there's chili or firearms involved. And if there's a chili cook off/shootin' match, the whole state shuts down.

Only thing I know about Hmongs is what I learned from Gran Torino, but they looked like they knew how to celebrate.

 
Posted by Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 09:36 PM
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Paul Randall Buchanan
Paul Buchanan

 
I thought Meskins learned how to party.. from Texans... 'cept that quinceanera stuff... Jack is right I think... you just show up to those things.. everyone is invited... just like we invited all the meskins to that party down by the San Jacinta river... all those years ago..
 
Posted by Paul Randall Buchanan on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 09:10 PM
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Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ
Rebel Gunslinger

 
Come and take it!

 
Posted by Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 09:36 PM
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hipbilly
Billy, comma, Hip .

 
HAR!

 
Posted by hipbilly on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 09:34 PM
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Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ
Rebel Gunslinger

 
That were funny, weren't it?

 
Posted by Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 09:37 PM
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Penrose
Jakob Lewis

 
"Mexican Americans, they like education, so they go to night school and take Spanish and get a B."
Cheech Marin

 
Posted by Penrose on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 10:31 PM
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Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ
Rebel Gunslinger

 
Do they have brothers-in-law named Floyd, or Earl? I can never remember.

 
Posted by Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 09:38 PM
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Jack
Jack Christensen

 
Paul can thank a Mexican for that bottle of Chivas Regal I gave him a few years back...he gave it to me after he asked me to be a hit man for his familia...I said no, and he still left me the bottle cuz he was glad to see me. 
 
Posted by Jack on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 - 11:01 PM
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Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ
Rebel Gunslinger

 
Sounds like a Mescan situation I had when I was 13, but no one wanted me for an assassin, just a child bride.

 
Posted by Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 09:39 PM
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$EX Artiste!

 
Umm.  Is Bobby African American?  Because paragraph 3?... Nevuhmind.   It's 4:37 AM.  I'm outta beer.  Do you have any Coke Bottles I can take to Piggly Wiggly?  I need some luncheon meats for breakfest.

 
Posted by $EX Artiste! on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 11:40 AM
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Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ
Rebel Gunslinger

 
Naw, Bobby's white, he's just from a part of Louisiana where they all refer to themselves as coon-asses. I don't know why. Got no bottles, but I'd gladly share this ham with you.

 
Posted by Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 - 09:40 PM
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Chops Mc Lou

 
They was there, and I read 'em.  My head is better off for it too.  
 
Posted by Chops Mc Lou on Thursday, October 01, 2009 - 03:22 PM
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Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ
Rebel Gunslinger

 
Good. Any time I can better someone's head, I count that as a win.

 
Posted by Rebel S. Nerd, Future Jeopardy! Champ on Thursday, October 01, 2009 - 03:27 PM
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