My son left for California today.  And like every year, I spend the night before he leaves with him, take him to the airport the day of, and cry my eyes out while I'm driving home.  You would think after all these years I would get use to it.  But no, not me.  I don't think I can ever get use to it.  And of course, like some ritual, I'll got into his room the following day to clean and I'll just sit there on his bed crying all over again. It's just hard to see him leave not knowing for sure when I'll see him again.  At times, I feel he is better off in California but then again, I want him to stay here in NY.  I know I know...he's better off over there.  But I can't help it, I'm his mom.  How else am I suppose to act.   It just really sucks that I get all excited when he's about to come & then when he leaves, it feels like he just spent 2 weeks instead of a whole summer.   I can't believe summer is already over.  It came & left in a blink of an eye and I haven't done anything memorable (except tubing down the Delaware gap river) yet.  And as far as spending any time with my son, it just wasn't enough.  There will come a time when I'll probably only see him one week out of a year.  He's getting older and soon enough he'll have a life of his own.  Oh well, what can you do?  I'll get over my crying soon enough and I'll go back to talking with him over the phone until I see him again like usual.  But for now, I'm depressed and I'm sulking.