Just saw the Nielsen ratings for this past week. I can't believe that they are still considered relevant, what with the rise of digital video recorders (DVRs) and satellite and cable systems with something like 23, 674 channels (and nothing on).
What I found even harder to believe was that 3 of the Top Ten shows for the week were installments of Dancing With The Stars.
Pardon me if I puke? Not here? Oops! Sorry! Hope that's Stainmaster.
Ol' P.T. Barnum always said that no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public. He was so right. I cringe at the thought of the season premiere of American Idol. I become physically nauseous to think of the next gang of grub-eating bush-yuppies let loose on Survivor.
Not to mention the newest horde of hippos lining up outside the studios to become The Biggest Loser. Which network has that show anyway? Seems that would be a good place to put a Krispy Kremes franchise. Heck, that one day would take care of your whole year.
It's nothing new for countless (and shameless) morons and idiots to be willing to debase themselves just for the chance to be on TV. We've had People's Court, Divorce Court, Judge Judy, and Judge Joe Brown for those who want to air their dirty legal linen in public. We've had Donahue, Dr. Phil, Geraldo and, of course, the crème de la crappe himself, Jerry Springer, pimping the follies and foibles of an endless array of inbreds rejected for lobotomies because Medicaid won't cover microsurgery and shunned by trailer parks for fear of bringing down property values. Back after these messages, folks! But those shows were all syndicated, produced on the cheap for quick sale and maximum profit.
Syndicators can be forgiven for their desperation. These were the guys who milked an extra fifteen years or so of Hee-Haw after CBS has seemingly killed the beast. These folks would put anything on the air.
It was only a matter of time before the networks, hemorrhaging money due to decreased audiences and advertising revenue, followed suit. That's why you no longer have Hill Street Blues or LA Laws, but you have Deal or No Deal and 1vs100. No more St Elsewheres or NYPD Blues, but you have Big Brother and The Bachelor. And who needs Cosby or Roots when you've got The Flavor of Love?
Do yourselves a favor. In the immortal words of the mortal John Prine, "Blow up your TV."
Read a book. And I'm not talking about that Simon Cowell autobiography either, ya freakin' illiterates.