You and I have always been pretty close and between you and me, I've always liked you better than those others. That's why I feel comfortable in telling you that my dog, Joanne, needs to have an operation. She keeps chewing through the chastity belt I put on her and so I thought I might get her one of those rubber fake chew newspapers (like the Daily Growl) and spayed as a Christmas present. Here's where I might be able to use your assistance.

Don't get me wrong. There's something totally in it for you. I know you're probably involved in some Holiday Gift Giving scheme and there's a $20 limit. Well, it would help Joanne and me out if you purchased The Chicken Dance as your gift so we could afford that chew toy and spayed operation.

But, here's the genius part about it. The book is normally $16.95, which after taxes comes out to $18. If you buy it on Amazon.com or Barnes and Noble.com though, it's a lot cheaper. But the person you bought it for doesn't need to know that and will think you fulfilled your $20 minimum. Throw in some coupons for some Lean Cuisine and Mrs. Paul's Filet of Fish and you'll become the hit of the Holiday party!

So again, purchase The Chicken Dance on Amazon.com or Barnes and Noble.com and save a dog from having to wear a chastity belt and me from having to live with my momma for the rest of my life. Happy Holidays!