SUBMISSIVE MYTHOLOGY (1)
by F.R.R. Mallory
Submissive's and Abuse...
If
a human being at some point in their childhood becomes the focus of
physical and/or sexual abuse does this then turn them into a submissive
at some later point in their lives?
There
would appear to be lots of things which would support this theory and
it is abundantly clear that a strong majority of people who eventually
end up within the D/s or BDSM lifestyle as submissives have significant
and some times long term experiences with many forms of abuse including
physical and sexual abuse. Does this mean that the abuse 'creates' the
submissive? To assume this would mean that you would first have to
assume that being submissive is some kind of scarring process of the
psyche. That submission itself is a form of damage or a surface
expression of existing damage. If this theory is true then all people
who express themselves as submissives then must come from a life that
included this type of abuse. However, though a majority of people
within the community have experiences of abuse in their background not
all of them experienced abuse prior to 'finding' themselves within the
lifestyle.
In addition
many submissives and Dominants can easily remember thoughts and ideas
of an unusual or exciting to them nature often from very early
childhood. These may be memories of extreme pleasure during a cops and
robbers game where the individual found themselves tied up as part of
the 'game'. Often these early childhood memories pre-date initial
sexual experiences which would appear to suggest that the individual
had an interest prior to being aware of any 'sexual' implications or
overtones to the activities themselves.
In
actuality it is far more likely that a submissive's 'nature' is formed
at exactly the same moment that their eye color is selected or at that
precise moment when the DNA of a male and female combine to create a
new human life. When you look at the problem of abuse and the
submissive from a reverse perspective it becomes possible and even
probable that a submissive's underlying nature and built in responses
make them more 'vulnerable' to becoming involved with and in situations
of abuse. Many abusers are from what could be called 'failed dominant
models'. Often the abuser will manifest certain aspects of dominant
behavior. These are the 'dominants' who never quite make it, they are
unsuccessful by the standards of the society in which they live or
exist. These dominants often carry and project some of the actions and
behaviors of all dominants. These manifestations, actions or behaviors
can and do trigger a submissive into varying types of actions.
It
is a fundamental part of a submissive's nature to be able to orient,
focus and block out divergent information. In childhood a juvenile
submissive will often lock 'onto' an individual with a strong presence
whom they see daily. This may be a family member, a teacher, a next
door neighbor etc. They will 'feel' sweeping adoration for that person.
That person will appear to 'block out' the sun, the moon and the stars.
This makes the juvenile submissive willing to do almost anything to
please this person they worship. The 'idea' of losing face before this
person terrifies them and often they will present themselves in an
exemplary way so as not to lose that persons regard or respect. The
juvenile submissive will also make strong attempts to be near the
individual they 'worship'.
Unfortunately
the selection process which triggers this action on the part of the
juvenile submissive is not always based on merit but is almost always
based on instinctive triggers, emotional 'feeling' or belief not based
in evidence. The juvenile submissive may 'adore' an adult and shower
upon that adult devotional admiration the likes of which that adult has
possibly never seen or experienced before. Some adults have no
experience in managing this new kind of 'relationship' and the adult
may find this attention exciting and attractive. It is part of human
nature to enjoy attention. The juvenile submissive's actions may act
like inflammatory triggers inside of the adult causing or summoning an
avalanche of 'feeling' that the adult has no information or
understanding of how to deal with. This may trigger a 'reaction'. A
point where the adult who may be at a moment of 'weakness' acts without
reasoned forethought and subsequently violates the submissive. Often
the adult will later 'berate' or openly accuse the juvenile submissive
of causing this action. Within the confusion of their mind they know
the submissive wanted their attention, loved, adored and in some way
asked for something.
This
violation will often 'shatter' the submissive. The 'person' has
fundamentally misunderstood the submissive, the purity of their belief
in them, grossly profaned the gift...the offering.
The
adult will often be horrified by what they have done and in ways unable
to face this new disgusting or revolting image of themselves as a
molester, abuser or destroyer. They reason that the 'submissive' must
be bad. Wrong. Evil. It is at this point that the juvenile may be
'punished' for 'making' or 'causing' the adult to fail. This cycle
often escalates and intensifies with the juvenile submissive feeling
caught or trapped by their own nature. They may both love and detest
the object of their adoration. A part of them cannot turn 'off' their
adoring response and eventually the submissive may decide that their
abuser is correct and that 'they' have brought this on themselves. This
confusion of feeling and self hating response tends to cycle through
the submissive's life until, if and when they begin to fully understand
themselves and how they as a unique individual work. (I must note here
that the juvenile OR adult submissive is never responsible for the
actions of others. We as individuals are always solely responsible for
our own actions.)
A
submissive who enters the D/s lifestyle has already begun to make
active choices and decisions on how to manage, live with and even
perhaps, hopefully and maybe for the very first time enjoy the
strangeness of their own perfection.
And
it is perfection. Submission is not damage or scarring. It is an
ability to offer complete inspired devotion and belief. That ability
viewed in other ways is the power that creates nations, builds
religions and inspires creation itself.