I have had some issues recently regarding my hairy feet. I am told I will not be allowed in the theatre with open toed shoes. Certain gentlemen's clubs won't let me go with the flip-flops, so I keep a pair of my grampy's old wingtips in my ride whenever I wanna get my drink on with the naked ladies!!! Yeah, they're two sizes too small, but it ain't my feet I'm comforting there, you know what I mean!!!! But the Cineplex??? Damn, times have changed. I remember certain moviehouses in Queens let you strip down during the movie to "take care of business" assuming you are in a side row, discreet and of proper legal age. Don't bother no one and they don't bother you. Not no more. I guess with video games and gangs and all that, I guess they gotta bring down the hammer. And you know I gotta be on the street for my premiere of my movie Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie Film For Theatres Starring Carl. This Friday the 13th, in case you live under a rock and don't know how to rock, you know what I'm sayimng??? So I'm doing this up right!!!!! I'm going to one of them places in Chinatown (not the ramen noodles and not the "steam n' cream", but the other kind) to get my feet taken care of.
Yeah baby! That's right! Hot wax, on my feet!! My hairy feetget so hairy and sometimes the pores down there get clogged and I get some nasty zits on my arches. I used to shave em pretty regular, cause after a few weeks, my sneakers would get fitting pretty tight and then the lice get to pissing me off and I gotta break out the lotion (that's another story altogether), but then I figured I'm a bachelor, I don't need some women weighing me down, riding me about my hairy feet. So I score some plastic sandals and bam!
Problem solved. I mean, I still grow hair down there, I just don't do noithing about it. So if some usher comes up to me about my beach shoes, he's gonna be picking popcorn kernels out of face, surgically!!! You know what I mean???? And yes, ladies, I will be sporting my new mesh tanktop for all to see. I got two for the price of one, so whenever I figure out how to make this thing like an online poll, you will have your choice of seeing me in Orange Sunrise or Lime Sherbert. See you Friday night, ladies ­ and vote as many times as you please!!!!