i had been getting these missed calls from the area code where i went to college.  i finally picked up last night and this is what happened.

girl:  hi, i'm rachel, a freshman at your alma mater calling to talk to you about a couple things.  first, i'd like to know a little bit about your college experience here.

me:  hah, really?  well, i guess i thought it was overly
competitive and that no one in the administration was really
interested in me or my education, and i was left on my own
most of the time.

girl:  oh, really, i'm sorry to hear that, well, any
favorite memories?

me:  um...not really.

girl:  ok, well, here at this college we need money for world
class research and to provide financial assistance to
students in need, would you be willing to donate $25 per
month in support.

me:  yeah, i'm right in the middle of making dinner,
i'm not going to give any money to the school.

girl:  ok, that's cool, i totally understand, that is
quite a bit of money, maybe $10 per month.

me:  right, i'm not going to give any money.

girl:  yes, that is still a lot of money, i understand.
maybe a yearly gift of $75?  this money also helps to keep
our college at the top of college rankings, as alumni
contributions factor into the rankings.  this will help keep
us ranked competitively with the best schools in the
world.

me:  wait, so, by not donating i am actually hurting
that ranking...i'm not going to donate.

girl:  ok, i understand, but maybe to help students who
need financial aid like myself you could make a one-time
donation of $35.

me:  you know what, you sound like a nice person, if you
send me a personal e-mail with your address, i'll send
you a check for food or books or going out or
whatever, but i'm really not giving any money to
the school.

girl:  ok, well thank you for your time, sir.

me:  yep.

dinner was delicious by the way, seared chili and garlic pork chops with mashed potatoes.