March 5th the day my life changed forever. I hate this date and wish it would go away. It haunts me everyday when I close my eyes I can still see her. As she lays there gasping her last breath. I count the seconds in-between wondering was that one it? No, it wasn't she still hangs on and won't let go. I think to myself go die already cause I can't stand sitting there watching her. I keep praying that it will be over soon. As the gasps get longer and longer I stand there and watch. Time passes and I'm still standing there watching her chest expand and then cave in. Just waiting until that last gasp comes. The nurse comes in and says it won't be long now. So I continue to stare at her, I continue to count the seconds as her breathing becomes more shallow. I'm standing over her now cause it's just seconds away.  Her chest expands and then caves in one last time. I stopped counting the seconds in my head. A sense of relief overwhelms me to the point where I can't breath. I feel like I'm suffocating as if she was pulling me with her. People are talking around me but I can't hear them as if I were deaf. As my mind body and soul shuts down the room goes black as if I were blind. Everything inside me died at that moment. That last gasp of air that she took was the final one. I'm still standing over her even tho I know she is gone as if she was going to wake up. My legs feel weak my heart is racing my mind is running. I keep saying why? why? Why? over and over in my head. It's 10 years today and I can still remember every single moment as if it happened yesterday. I can still hear her last words ringing in my head. I want to forget and block it out but it won't go away. I don't think it will ever go away.