So, in an effort to prepare for the lamest of all acting rigamarole the "headshot", I got a seven day free trial membership to the Mid Wilshire branch of Los Angeles' 24 Hour Fitness. I was instantly surprised at how agressivley Henry Lee (the largest Asian I have ever met) began to sell me on joining the gym while sequestered in the safety of the membership cubicle, I mean isnt that what a free trial is for, to TRY it out? But I realized his logic the second I stepped foot into the prison yard that was the free weight area, huge bald ass reamers high on Tina sputtering and lifting the the equivelant of two teenage wrestlers. And if Henry's haste wasnt justified enough, the tumbleweed of pubic hair that welcomed me onto the threshhold of the ladies locker room crystalized his vision. Gross as it all was, I decided to suck it up for one quick work out, assuring myself I would never return. I tried desperately to focus through my mandated 20 minutes of cardio, staring at Michel Buble being interveiwed on the TV ahead, bouncily following the time lapsed closed captioning. It would have been OK, if the latin hustler one row ahead wasnt using his tight purple sweatpants like a peakcock tail, and signaling his potential suitors with an eliptical mating dance. I feel bad for the gays, with guys like this using their asses as advertising, it must be hard to fnd someone who gets you (that isnt a fat chick). I finally finished my abridged workout and headed with my plastic bag of clothes (I had kept in the cupholder while running because ringworm sucks) back to the minefield of the locker room, and tried not to touch anything while I changed. Just as I arrived and thought nothing more could gross me out about this place, the squat mexican woman sweating and panting who entered behind the small chinese woman wearing a SARS mask made a beeline fully clothed into the sauna!!! Aparently, being drenched your own sweat inside a sauna is now a subtitute for a shower. I thought I might be being a little uptight, so I went to take a peek, and saw not one but 3 other women post workout, fully naked, bare assed, and titted on the wooden benchs all splayed out. Their sweaty work out gear hung over the wooden railing inside this sarcophagus of flab. I fretted that I would get some kind of mutated Ebola through my eyes by simply witnessing something that wretched. I once thought Dolphin Fitness in NYC was the nastiest work out possible, that honor now resides inside the Mid-Wishire 24 Hr Fitness. Congrats!