I find myself thinking about the future and my own goals, hopes and dreams.
I realize that if I dropped dead tomorrow I would have already fulfilled many of the things that I had dreamed of in my youth. I have a wonderful family, great kids, and a devoted and supportive wife. We recently celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary and it is the stuff that dreams are made of.
Our friends and kids held a surprise party and we had over 120 people who came and it was really so nice to realize that all these people cared about you and admire us for what we have accomplished! I was humbled to say the least.
I know that I havent been the greatest person to be around, and that I am lucky to have made it this far, and of course it didnt come without a lot of hard work and sacrifice on all of our parts.
In the course of doing all of this, I sometimes felt selfish because I had other dreams and goals of what I wanted to do with music. I dabbled a little here and there and stayed active, Music has always been a big part of our life. I sang for my own baptism on my 16th birthday, as well as all of the important things in our life from our wedding to all the kids baptisms and confirmations as well as my Mother and Father's funerals all told, I figure that I have participated in well over 1000 masses of liturgies.
It was a great experience for me and I learned a lot about the "spirit" in music.
I went to Nashville with a good friend and partner of mine and spent the money to record an Album called "underneath the harvest moon" and yes, it was one of those "package deals" and I didnt know too much about how things worked back then, but I was willing to give it a try. I could have done things differently, but I was tired of waiting for the next "basement Tape" I have learned a lot, because in hindsight it wasn't


me. But I tried.
I also was tired of the lack of outlets for original music in Cleveland "the Rock and Roll Capitol" so I funded my own radio program called "the Daze of Myth" original music hour where I played a lot of the better basement tapes as well as many of my talented friends, but I had to give it up after a while because I was the only one paying for it. and it seemed like there was a general lack of enthusasm from others.
I tended to "push the cart before the horse" trying to set up a platform for others while I let my own songwriting and performing take a back seat. I have spent time and money going to songwriters workshops, seminars on the music business and starting a publishing company and on and on. I have gained a lot of new friends and learned a lot, but for what? Why put myself through all of this?
I can only say that I felt driven to pursue this thing..ever since I was a Lad growing up on the east side streets of Cleveland with my broken home and nothing to speak of, I wanted to do this, all through out my life I have gone through just about every experience you can imagine, I have lived through so many heartaches, trials and tribulations, most people would be surprised. But I feel it was for a reason. I can relate to people, and I can feel what they are going through most of the time because I have lived it. Yes the last 25 years have been blessed because I wanted to make sure my children had the family life I didnt have and for that I am successful! (thanks in large part to my wife)
But now I find myself wanting desperately to express myself in a way that I know I can if given the chance. I am under the self inflicted delusion that I can make a difference to others outside of my small circle of friends.Right now It seems like nobody really gives a shit about it but me.
I wish I could just hang it all up and move to a cabin in the woods somewhere, but even then I would more than likely start a local coffeehouse and sponsor a place for people to play and work on writing! I know I don't bring much to the table as far as talent, but I do have heart and a wealth of experience behind me. that has to account for something?
In the last few years I have listened to artists like Victoria Williams, Devon Sproule, Jesse Malin, John Prine, to name a few, and I have found that songwriting doesnt have to be that complicated. Its just an expression of how you feel and hopefully, someone else will get something out of it. I was watching Jerry Lewis on the MDA telethon today, and it made me think of how fickle we are. He has been in show business for over 50 years, and has had some of the worlds greatest entertainers on his show and a wealth of history. It is now relegated to one cable channel in some off-beat casino in Vegas. When I was little, it was hard to escape it, it was always the show to watch, but the rat pack is dead, people are on hard times and they just don't care anymore. Entertainment now a days is all "Star search" and Play station..I think many still want to hear a good old Ry Cooder song or John Prine singing the blues, that is real without the bells and whistles of today. I think there will be a market for "real" and not necessarily someone making a Jackass of themselves. ANyway..thanks for listening and feel free to make comments if you like.