So Melissa came back from Kansas late Sunday night.  I knew she wasn't coming out, and didn't really want her to.  Not because I didn't want her out, but because Melissa has a career.

I have a job.  I go there, do my shit, or pretend to, then go home.  If I got fired tomorrow, it's cool.  I'll get another one.  Melissa is an interior architect.  She has the fancy degree, and if she goes into work all hungover, she could seriously do something wrong.  She never has, mind you, but the fear is still there.

I know what you're saying now.  Then don't go out in the middle of the week!  Or if you do, just go home early.  If you're thinking that, get the hell off my page.  You obviously don't know me and never will.  When Alicia and Melissa do something, we don't do it half assed.  We go full speed ahead, doing it to the max!  You know that song, Push it to the Limit?  Melissa and I inspired that song!  So when we go out, we'll say it's just for a beer or two.  We'll say we're going home at 10.  But we'll always end up crouched by the fountain at 2 in the morning, putting our paper boats in the water and giggling as they actually float.  But I see I've lost you.

Last night Melissa came out.  I wasn't going to meet her, since I didn't want her to be out all night, but the lure of delicious beer couldn't keep me away.  So I came down.  And we started drinking.  And decided that before we got too drunk to function correctly, we would play some Tic Tac Trivia on the Crack box.  You know you've seen those.  In the bar, those flashy boxes with thousands of games on it. You look at it with distain.  "I'm not here to play on a box, I'm here to drink!"  But later on, you se a pretty young thing struggling with trivia, and you decide to help her out.  And that's when you're in the box's grasp.  Because even after she gets bored and leaves, you continue to play.  You poor, dumb bastard.  You KNOW that you can be Number 1, you just have to be a little faster.  But you'll never be number 1, will you?

Anyway, so we started off with Tic Tac Trivia.  Just a dollar, all good.  Yeah, about three hours her me and lee resurfaced to find that while when we had begun there was only one other person in the bar, now there was about 15.  So we moved from the Crack box to pool.  Now, I'm not sure how we went from pool to making pirate hats out of newspaper, but it seemed like a perfectly normal transition.  It's ok, I have pictures.  They'll be put up soon.  So we have our pirate hats, now what?  Oh, I know, let's high five!

Melissa is known for hitting high fives REALLY hard, with little to no effort.  I wanted a huge slap, so I tried three times.  The first time was a failure.  The second time I hit my thumb on her ring/knuckle.  But it's ok, I was feeling no pain, I just wanted to do the high five.  Third try was the charm.  The slap rang out for what seemed like minutes.  It was AWESOME!  Until I realized that my thumb kind of hurt.  A quick look under the bathroom lights confirmed that yes; I had screwed up my thumb.  It was starting to turn black.  Ouch.  But I had more important things to think about.  Like drawing a little vampire face on my thumb and naming it Theodore the vampire, which morphed into Theodore le vampire, a vampire that only spoke French, and spent most of his time yelling "Je te morte!!!" 

Theodore was soon joined by three other little thumb friends, and we spent about 15 minutes wearing our pirate hats, holding our thumbs up in front of our faces and talking in different voices.  You know, as I'm writing this, I still have no clue why any of this was happening, but it made perfect, total sense.  2 a.m. found us in front of the fountain by Sam Sneads, putting the boats that they had made and my cootie catcher (I never learned to make a boat) into the water.  Mine sank immediately, since I more flung my boat in rather than placed it, but for the most part, when we left, there were still two hanging in there.  I know other smaller stuff happened, but this is basically a prime example of why me and Melissa should only be allowed out together on Fridays, Saturdays, and major holidays.  Any other time and we go crazy.  Fun crazy, but still crazy.

Oh yeah, and this morning I wake up, and my thumb is black, and swollen.  And it hurts to do almost everything.  We seriously can't live without thumbs!  I'll never take my fattest fingers for granted again!