I Fred And Yolanda Just Hanging Out
Fred arrived at Yolanda's door promptly at 7:30, and was surprised when Yolanda opened the door wearing her bathrobe and a sheepish expression. "I overslept. Have a seat, I'll be ready in ten minutes."
Fred swallowed hard and nodded in agreement. "No problem, take your time."
Yolanda hustled off to shower, leaving Fred alone with his thoughts and hormones. He sat on the couch, placed his back to the hallway so that he wouldn't accidentally see anything and tried not to dwell on the thought that Yolanda was fifteen feet away and naked.
This can't be my life, Fred thought as he heard water running. It's a Saturday morning. I was out last night with a FINE woman and didn't even THINK about making a move, and now I'm up early so we can run errands.
The shower stopped. Fred heard the bathroom door open and the light tread of Yolanda's footfalls as she raced into her bedroom.
Yolanda dressed in the first clean sweatpants and sweatshirt she could find. I can't believe I set my alarm wrong. And of course I overslept when Fred got up early here to give me a ride.
Pulling her hair into what Fred called the world's longest natural ponytail, Yolanda joined Fred in the living room.
"Hold up. I need to ask you something."
Yolanda stopped in the middle of tying her sneakers. "Huh?"
Fred pointed to her sockless feet, which shone white against the rest of her tan skin. "Is lotion like Kryptonite to you?" He held a bottle near her. "Nope, you didn't faint. I was wrong."
Yolanda's eyes widened, and her mouth formed a perfect "O" as she struggled not to laugh. "No you didn't go there!"
"You're the one with them ashy feet. Looks like you been kick-boxing the Michelin Man!"
He quickly lotioned them for her, enjoying the intimate contact. Yolanda smacked him lightly upside the head as he laughed and they headed for his car.
II Fred's Friends React To His Singing In Church
Max looked at Fred accusingly. "Okay Donnie McClurkin, where'd you hide Fred? We need him back."
Fred laughed. "You're the one made me join something, and then when I do, you got jokes."
"I said join the choir, not run it! How you gonna make one rehearsal and have a whole song that quick?"
Fred rolled his eyes. "I sang "Jesus Is Love" when I was a kid, at my grandfather's church in Jersey. And it was two rehearsals, wise guy!"
Yolanda hugged him, and Donna smiled at the distinct not-just-friends pleasure Fred felt.
"You were great!"
Fred smiled, ending the hug reluctantly. Max and Donna both noticed that Fred didn't release Yolanda's hand and Yolanda didn't rush to pull it free.
"Thanks. I always loved that song, but now I actually understand what it means. Back then, I only did it because I'd just learned that the girls in our church liked boys who could sing."
As the teasing kicked into high gear, Symone Donovan blew past Max and physically separated Yolanda from Fred by throwing herself into his arms. Donna nearly laughed out loud at the sudden burst of panic she felt from Fred at Symone's passionate arrival.
"Fred, that was wonderful! I didn't know you could sing like that! Your solo was such a blessing!"
Fred unconsciously winced; at close range, the extra volume Symone customarily put on the end of her sentences was painful.
"Uh, thanks Symone. Thanks a lot."
Fred tried to simultaneously hold a conversation with Symone and figure out how to escape her less-than-holy hug. In reaching up to plant a kiss on Fred's cheek, Symone managed to display her cleavage, press her breasts firmly into Fred's chest and apply a back rub with her free hand at the same time. Her less than modest light blue dress nearly exposed all of her secrets as she stood on tiptoe to congratulate her much taller New Members Class classmate.
Nearby, Max and Donna fought back laughter. Yolanda didn't have that problem. Her mood darkened, and it didn't take the gift of discernment to see that Yolanda's temper was suddenly as short as Symone's dress.
Lord, have mercy, Fred thought. Please get this woman off me before I relapse.
Symone let go, gushing once more about Fred's golden voice before swaying off into the crowd, leaving a lipstick-stained Fred in her wake. Losing the battle with laughter, Max clapped Fred on the shoulder and started towards Fred's car. Both the mildly distressed look on Fred's face and the stony one on Yolanda's amused Max. Donna sensed that neither of her friends was faking their feelings.
"You okay Fred?"
Fred affected a glassy-eyed stare and accepted the tissue Donna offered him. "Jesus keep me near the Cross."
Wiping his cheek clean, he looked up towards Heaven. "And while You're at it, can You get Symone a new top button for her dress? The one she got must not be working."
Max, Donna and even Yolanda had to stop walking so they could laugh.