Did you ever notice the greatest thing about Seagal movie titles is that they tell a story in order of their release? No? Well dig below.

Steven Seagal was ABOVE THE LAW, but he was too HARD TO KILL, so now he’s been MARKED FOR DEATH, by Haitians who are OUT FOR JUSTICE. Can he live while UNDER SIEGE? Could you survive while UNDER SIEGE 2? It was time to make an EXECUTIVE DECISION about THE GLIMMER MAN. There’s a FIRE DOWN BELOW and only Seagal, THE PATRIOT can heal the EXIT WOUNDS left in his TICKER. Despite being HALF PAST DEAD, THE FOREINGER who was OUT TO KILL Seagal emerged from THE BELLY OF THE BEAST. His name was CLEMENTINE. Safety was OUT OF REACH for Seagal, but still he walked INTO THE SUN until he was SUBMERGED into the Pacific Ocean by a threat unknown. TODAY YOU DIE yelled Clementine as THE BLACK DAWN rose. But Steven is a MERCENARY FOR JUSTICE, a SHADOW MAN, an ATTACK FORCE all his own! His FLIGHT OF FURY would unleash some cold hard URBAN JUSTICE as he PISTOL WHIPPED the man whose true motivation was to stop filming of THE UNTITLED ONION MOVIE. At this KILLING POINT Seagal prevailed, proving that he is still -- THE PRINCE OF PISTOLS!

To be continued ....



I know. Too much time on my hands.