It's weird. 

Sometimes you've just had enough and something snaps inside of you.

And u do something about it.

That's how I felt. 

I was so tired of reaching out to people who were not reaching out back.  Calling and texting people to no responses.  Trying to help someone with their careers and finding out I'm doing more work then they are even though it's their life.

Hearing from some boy how he truly wants a relationship and then not hearing from him again.  Straight boys that are curious, acting out those feelings on me and then when they get past the point of their comfort, just stop talking to me.

I was done.

I realize that if I'm going to be putting 100% into a friendship, relationship, partnership, work relationship, etc. I expect 100% back.

Relationships with people are a dance.  If you are doing all the work, you are not only going to be the one tired but also pushing them back into a corner.  And vice versa.

So I made a decision.  I was going to start putting out effort only to people I was getting effort back from.

It was like a release.

First I started telling people and confronting how I felt.

My favorite is getting back, "Well, I've been SUPER busy."

No u haven't.  I work for 3 different bartending companies, am hosting and doing interviews for 2 different companies, and working with patients suffering with mental illness online, the phone, and in person.  I can find a minute out of my life to text someone back.

People got offended, but oh well, what can you do?  Ur ass needed to be called out.  U are a flake and a joke of a person.

Then I deleted bitches in my phone.  That's always fun.  I have too many damn numbers anyway.

I deleted all the straight boys in my phone that have said anything to me that was just wwaaaaay gay or have tried putting moves on me.  U can go mess around with someone else u closet fag.  Sorry, that's just how I feel.

And people who want my advice, or help w/ their career, etc. can be doing some of the work too or I'm moving along.

I have realized that the less I have been: going out, focusing on fake ass friends, trying to date immature boys, entertaining the thought of being with a confused straight boy, getting rid of toxic people from my life, I've been happier.

Not only that but I've made some new friends both gay and straight, that I'm really starting to connect with.  And we are connecting outside of gay clubs and other BS like that.

Also, my career is moving a long better, more opportunities, saving more money, just all around doing better.

And anyone reading this, I recommend that to you.  Cause I know you are as sick and tired as me of dealing with people that do not realize what you are worth.

Let them go.

And they will realize it soon enough weather they come begging for you back or not.

But ur going to be too far ahead than them to worry about what they are doing.

I did it.

And it feels great.