I heard that once and it just clicked.

"Teach people how to treat you."

I realize if you allow people to walk all over you, flake on you, hurt you, go out of their way to treat you like crap, and you accept that, you are telling them that that's okay and they are able to treat you that way.

If you put your foot down and let someone know, in a polite and loving manner that it is not okay for them to continue to treat you in this manner, they have to either adjust or stop interacting with you.

I realized I was teaching people how to treat me but not in the way I wanted them to.

I was basically telling people through my actions that I would be the one who would put most work into our friendships, I would do the calling, the planning, the driving, I would go out of my way to make the friendship work, and they wouldn't have to do anything.  In fact, they could walk all over me and I would still pick up my phone the next day and call and text them as if it was okay and make plans with them.

Now, these people not only kept doing the same thing, they didn't even care.  It's not as if they were busy and were doing their best.  They were using me.

So finally I heard that saying and it clicked.

I started teaching people that if you want to be part of my life, I expected to be treated a certain way.  With respect.  I will put 100% in the friendship and I expect the same.

If I call you, call me back.  When your not busy spend sometime with me.  Let me know how your feeling.  Just simple, obvious things that people weren't doing for me in the past.

And so far it seems to be working.  I have taught people that they have to treat me as a person, someone of value, and someone who they need to respect.  And they will get the same thing from me in return.

So remember, "Teach people how to treat you."  And if they refuse to learn, it's time to let them go.