10 THINGS TO DO IMMEDIATELY, NASHVILLIANS.


1. Sit down. Preferably on an object suitable for sitting. (Chair = good. Smoldering pile of charcoal = bad.)

2. Get out a blank piece of paper and a writing utensil.

3. Write down "To Do: Saturday".

4. Underline it.

5. Write "Go to 12th & Porter at 9pm" under that.

6. List all your friends here in Nashville below that. (If you don't have any friends, randomly choose people from the phone book.)

7. Stop to scratch your butt. (only if it itches)

8. Email or call everyone on that list. Tell them they must join you Saturday night or you will break into their houses and shave off their eyebrows while they are sleeping. (Making threats is always a good way to force participation in a social gathering.)

9. *optional*: create a television advertisement for the show and spend several thousand dollars airing it in heavy rotation for us between now and Saturday on dozens of channels.

10. Show up Saturday night, ready to boogie. And by boogie, I mean the 70's kinda boogie. Not the kind that the boogie man does. Not that I have any idea what scary boogie-ing the boogie man does. But it's probably not dancing.

The end.

Seriously.

It's gon' be crazy, and here's why...

a) Shanna Crooks sings her butt off, and any time you can witness a buttocks being forcibly strewn from its bearings with sheer vocal power, you should do it.

2) You all know what we (The Addiction) always do, which is rock your face into oblivion without even asking permission or apologizing, and making you enjoy the entire face-rocking episode. Because that's how we roll.

See you Saturday night, you beautiful people, you.

Love ya mean it,
JJ