This is a true story from last summer.
Rush Rush goes the Rumor

Thursday, I was called into my boss' office at work and told that the hotel can do drug testing at anytime. "Chuck, I think it's a great idea! We need to keep razor sharp and I am vehemently against anything that might dull the team. You have my approval to go ahead with this measure!" I reach out to shake his hand.

Chuck's hand stays on his lap. He bows his head to look through the top of his bifocals. "Joee, it already is a rule, Im just reminding you of it."
"Oh. Um OK. Would you like me to get tested after work?"
He shook his head no. "That wont be necessary."

I had a few minutes before the start of my shift so I went outside for a cigarette. My supervisor was there. "Jon, Chuck just 'reminded' me that I could get drug tested 'at any time.' Do you have any idea why I would be pulled into the boss' office and informed of this?"
"Well, Joee, people talk."
"And?"
"Someone said they saw you doing cocaine in the bathroom."
My eyes must have popped out of my head. I havent touched blow since the last time it went up my nose and that wasn't at work. Now someone is saying they saw me doing it at work! "They saw what?!"
"Someone said they say you doing coke in the bathroom." He didnt get the rhetoric in the question.
"Who?"
"I cant say."
"Bullshit! Who the fuck said it!"
"Joee, I really cant say. Sorry."
"Jon, let me ask you something."
"Sure."
"Who said it?"
"Joee, I..."
"You've seen how much I make."
"Yeah."
"Do you really think that I make enough to afford doing cocaine enough to necessitate doing it at work? Actually Jon, if I had the money to afford a coke habit, I wouldn't even have a fucking job. I'd be living a life of powdered leisure."
"Joee, it was just a reminder."
"What else have you heard?"
"Just that."
My ass just that!

The next day I go into work and Im called into Chuck's office again. He asks me to close the door. He composes himself, takes a deep breath and exhales the following sentence: "Joee you know the women's locker room is for women only."
"Yes, Chuck. I've known that since I was a wee-one. Why are you asking me this?"
"Someone said they saw you in the women's locker room in a compromising position with Iva."
"Who is Iva?"
"The new Russian housekeeper."
"I'm shocked and stunned."
"You're shocked and stunned that someone would say this?"
"No, Chuck, Im shocked and stunned that I haven't been introduced to a Russian housekeeper, who would fuck me at work."