im becoming ok with being me. lots of stuff i still want to change, but i'm getting to that point of peace with myself.
going to the city yesterday, and exploring who i am made me realise that i'm an ok guy
i'm not a great guy, i've made too many promises that i've broken, and i don't follow through on my words a lot. my mouth is so often looser than i'd like it to be. at the start of this year i said i'd talk less, it's not going so well.. i feel like im talking more, and i don't like it. i want to listen. yesterday in the city i listened and was talked to. i let the city talk to me, i let the beauty of the creations of man and God fill my heart.

so often i have defined myself by certain things.. like i never used to enjoy listening to female singers, always saying 'i just don't get into that' or whatever. im becoming a lot more open minded about it, breaking out of the box i built for myself. i listened to an electro/indie/house cd today, most of the way through anyway, and i enjoyed parts of it, then i checked out a few electro/indie bands fromaustralia and that was cool, then i came across anna becker, who does acoustic folk stuff.

yesterday in the city, a lady from the Fred Hollows foundation talked to me about his life and what he wanted for the third world's blind population. she obviously asked me to sign up as well, and while i don't have enough money for that sort of thing, i came away thinking about the fact that this guy had made tough choices and made a difference. for instance, he stole medical supplies with which he helped approx. 100 people before he was arrested and put in jail for a week.
i went to the NGV after this, had a quick look at a few things, the sneakers exhibition, the early photography exhibition and a seemingly unnamed exhibition with a history of seating and furniture design. it blew my mind seeing all of these. so inspiring to see the fruits of the artists study.

then i went to flinders st to meet up with megs, and while i was waiting i saw a young deaf couple smiling and talking to each other in sign language before walking off, arm in arm. i thought it was beautiful. who needs to know what they've said?

me and megs went back and had another look at the aforementioned exhibitions, had a bit of lunch, checked out another gallery where we saw artpieces that provoked thought, all by local artists.

the time i had taught me a lot about myself.

went home on the train after that, and on a walk home i noticed the brilliant mid afternoon sunset.. the sun was mostly still bright and yellow, it had dipped a bit in the sky, there were dark grey clouds, and lots of blue sky.

so here i am, sitting at my computer with cold feet, and a calm mind. im going to get through this.

Eccl..3 - a time for everything

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myspace.com/annabecker - go there. she's quite talented. also if uve seen that bonde do role band on myspace featured artists go and have a look at them, one of their songs is really cool
:)

ben