LOL phucking hilarious!

You're absolutely right, there was never a pretty boy bully. And they got uglier when puberty arrived. I remember this one bully getting so close to my face, I couldn't help but notice this huuuuuge whitehead on his nose. It was so tempting, shining and ready for a squeeze. The color of it was like a vanilla white with a tint of yellow. So basically it was overdue for a good picking! It was inviting, rocketing off his nose, like a miniature Mt Everest resting on his face. I couldn't hear his mouth running because of the loud voice in my head saying ,"Get that zit!"

So I punched him in the nose, sending him to the ground like a fresh cut tree. After I wiped the puss off my knuckles, onto his shirt, I went to celebrate my victory.

Moving right along...

As a kid, I enjoyed collecting weapons of all sorts. Sling-shots, throwing stars, nunchucks, swords, hand guns and shotguns. The bullies in my neighborhood were all into karate, or whatever they watched on television. I had one of them come up to me, anxiously wanting to try out his moves before a big tournament, "I know Tae Kwon Do and can take you down fast!" I gave it some thought and replied with, "I know Ching-Ching-Bang and can take you down faster!"

Quickly leaving, what could have been, a crime scene, he went back to ask his karate instructor if my art form was better than their's.