I have a theory as to the cause of my insomnia. One of the root causes may be in desperate hope that the day's high point may still be ahead, if only I stay up for it. That, or that I just want a little more time to do just a bit more of something, just a little more time to accomplish something. Lazy lazy lazy./
I forgot how much I love daytime. Oh, in this time of year especially. These Saturday morning classes are giving me a new glimpse into the daytime world that I haven't lived in in years. /
I never thought I would ever become so nihilistic. I was fascinated by the concept, but man, to know what it's like to not believe in anything, it's amazing. Not always that way, but there glimpses. I am well, and in many ways content but fuck it's dark in here./
Post soon of latest projects. :EGSOC:ME AND MY RHYTHM BOX:NEw REAL ART:SOUND & VISION:ETC.
Obviously productivity is up 300%. Satisfaction climbing./
Nobody has touched the temple
felt it's walls
to tell me if they are sticky
To tell me before they fall
Oh it's been so long so long so long
and we're all ugly now
I'll only ever sigh this song
just barely breath it out./
every one who makes me happy goes away and stays
the only rock for me is the one i'm tied to sinking in the sea
Permanence Ressentiment
anchored to my rancor
My only company my committee of enmity
All that lasts of the old sentiments
is this worn out and weathered resentment./
The Mayans are getting to me. I think I may be ending the world./

B_Day was OK. Spent entirely at work, unjoyously. Celebration postponed(extended?) till next weekend. At least a week is more reasonable than celebrating for a whole month as in past years. My loved ones salvaged the day. Jessi made me a fantastic basket of delight and beautiful cake. My step father stole one of my paintings and framed it MARVELOUSLY, to be included in the upcoming synopsis of new real art. He had no problem with me talking during television shows even. Mom made amazing paella and Red Velvet Cake and talked about me getting carved out of her. I did not want to come out to this fucked up place. It was all very touching. Jessi also made her first batch of fondue tonight , to excellent results. We'll make some more for some of you soon, surely.
Recounting all this happy fluffy stuff has made me feel much better. B_day was alright.

Ex's & Oh's,
NEVER ASLEEP