People who are close to me would know that lately i haven't quite been myself, mainly because of a lot of things happening around in college. They'd know that i was trying too hard, and doing too much to protect the ones that I cared about. It's wrong to be so involved, but sometimes its hard to see something that you feel will harm them carry on. After all, nobody wants to see the people they love get hurt. Unless their sadists of course  

Thus far, 2007 has been a rather rough patch, with extreme highs and lows. It's been an extremely emotionally draining time, but i think another "low" part of the year is gone by. At least for now  Coincidentally, a lot of things changed for me on Valentines day, so although not really celebrating it, it was a memorable one.

When you worry too much about others, often more than not you end up not worrying about yourself. So the thing that made the change is deciding not to care so much bout others, so that you could care for your own needs as well. It sounds extremely selfish, but trust me, it's also very practical. I guess seeing how "they" were getting along (you know who u are) made this easier. They just seemed so happy with each other, that it gave me confidence in them. So i guess i have to apologize for causing so much trouble. It's hard to swallow one's pride, especially when you know that you've made a mistake. But still, i have to do it. Sorry guys!

Anyway, although things seem to be getting better, I still dont quite feel myself. Although i feel a lot more happier and relieved, and just like my previous hyper self, something feels so empty. I can't quite put my finger why i'm feeling this way. It's a weird combination of feeling high, and at the same time feeling like a lot of things going out is fake. It's not like being depressed when you're emo. It's just indescribable in words. I guess its better than being worried and depressed over nothing