"You are ugly"

"You worthless piece of trash"

"You don't deserve"

"You need to change"

"You can't change"

You, you, you! Aren't you tired of others telling you about you?

Why in the world do we accept other's definition of who we are? Why would we rather believe a lie

as opposed to the truth about who we are? Why do "you" an individual person with your own

thoughts and reality allow anyone besides yourself to tell you who you are, how you need to change

and how you may not even be worthy of being in their presence?

I have learned on my journey to reject labels imposed upon me, but it was hard work. Still is, truth

be told. I have to constantly remind myself of who I am, where I came from and where I am going.  This is hard work, this thing called life.

I think it behooves us each and every day to take deep breaths upon awakening and move out of the

skin of yesterday. I don't mean the far past...I am speaking of the more recent present. The one that makes you hurt so much more than you did before.  While you are in an emotional turmoil, those who think they can define others live in a world devoid of feelings.  The ends....your destruction and the loss of your sense of self, justify the means.

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of who we are, our true self. We have to keep in touch with

that part of ourselves who really knows what we are about. We are each born with a positive

attitude about ourselves. Think about it. A baby is born into the world with no negativity about

who they are imposed upon them until what? Interactions with other humans. We learn the harsh

reality about self hatred, "playa haters" and rejection. We forget at this point that until our

interaction with the one person whose words cut first and deepest with their negative thoughts that

we forget we ever had a positive one in our lives. It's easy to forget your own path when someone

else's collides dead on with ours huh? That first negative reaction sets the stage for many of us who

will later struggle with issues of self esteem. Each consecutive action or reaction piles on top of the

first until we are filled with labels that are really lies.

This has been a wonderful time for me. I am connected with my center and well on a path of

wholistic living. I am fully aware of who I am each day I wake up and humble myself before my

ancestors and Olodumare. It is humbling to me to see others reach out to me, wanting to be in my

space, sit next to me, or hear what words I will say next. I remember back to the day when I neve

thought anyone would want to hear my voice, let alone a thought that came into my head. That was

the result of allowing others to program me instead of my remembering that I came here

programmed under my own steam.

The hour is quickly approaching when I will kneel before my ancestors to celebrate the life of my birth mother.  On the 18th, I will bow and remember the tragic day of her murder and how her allowing others and in particular, that one, to define her reality.  On the 19th I will celebrate her birth the day she choose to come into this world full of hope and promise and was left lost and turned out in a world that did not give a flying damn about her. 

I am reflective in this moment, as I remember how she could not let go of the labels others placed on her.  I remember how she imposed upon me, her own child her realilty about me out of her pain.

I work with so many woman who have been deeply hurt and that hurt is so ingrained in them they don't know any other emotion.  I will pray for each of you as I go before my own ancestors, that you will one day find your way out of your own cycle of pain, inflicted upon you by others in pain, who are so far gone, they dont' even feel it.

Take deep cleansing breaths and move on....it gets better from here.