Before you begin, make sure you have 3rd degree sunburn, but only on your left side.
Then capture the essence of these following ingredients;
5 ripped muscles
17 torn liagaments
(all) ruptured discs (make sure it's the whole spine)
a tooth abscess
8 litres of stomache cramp from food poisoning.
method:
blend that together & drink it slowly.
then grab a giant sheet of heavy duty sandpaper & weld it to your entire left side & keeping it there for two to three weeks.
note:
Make sure you have your dog put down one week after the first eruptions.