In most abusive relationships violence is not a one time incident. The
abuse usually happens again and again. While not all victims experience
the same thing, many find that the abuse occurs in a repeating cycle.
This often happens in three phases: Tension building, Explosion, Honeymoon
Tension building:
Things start to get tense between you and the person you’re with. Often:
• The person you are with starts fights with you and yells at you for no reason.
• You feel like you can’t do anything right and that things could blow up at any moment.
Honeymoon:
The abuser will apologize, try to make up with you, and try to shift the blame for the explosion to someone or something else.The abuser often:
•Says “I love you.”
• Apologizes and promises that it will never happen again.
• Buys you flowers or other gifts.
• Says that you did something to cause the abuse or blames it on other things, like being drunk or stressed out.
Explosion:
There is an outburst of violence that can include intense emotional, verbal, sexual and/or physical abuse.The abuser may:
• Physically abuse you by hitting, kicking, slamming you against the wall, etc.
• Scream and yell in a way that scares or humiliates you.
• Rape you or force you to go further sexually than you want to.
• Threaten to hurt you.