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I can't swear this is exactly how it happened... ...but this is how it felt.

Skylar

Skylar Baker-Jordan


Last Updated: 12/4/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Divorced
Age: 23
Sign: Aquarius

City: Get me the hell out of
State: Kentucky
Country: US
Signup Date: 5/12/2005

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[11 Jun 2009 | Thursday] 11:27 AM
While watching The View yesterday morning, I was disheartened to hear the transphobia coming out of the mouths of every host sans Barbara Walters, who has for a while now seemed the only one of the cohosts to truly understand transgendered people and be sympathetic to their plight and cause. (Even Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar seem to miss the point on this one.) While discussing Thomas Beatie, the “pregnant man,” Sherri Shepherd went to the extreme to point out her belief that Mr Beatie is indeed not a man, and Joy Behar expressed her “annoyance” with the Beaties choices:


When I reached out to Sherri Shepherd via Twitter, explaining to her the difference between sex and gender (ergo the difference between “male” and “man”), here is the “direct message” (or private message, for those of you not in the Twittersphere) I received back:




(If you can't read it from the screen capture, it says: “a man cannot have a baby. i'm not talkin about how you feel. a man does not have the internal organs to birth a child.”)

Now before I continue, I need to stop and make a few points. The first is that I have been a fan of The View since it premiered in 1997, when I was only 11 years old. Back then I thought watching it was interesting and cool because it made me feel more grown up. Over the subsequent 12 years, I've grown up and taken more and more interest in the social issues they discuss. The View has grown up, too; it now discusses more serious comments in a more even-handed, analytical manner than it did when it premiered. The current lineup is, arguably, the best they've ever had, and at a time when many shows begin to wane in relevance and ratings, The View remains fresh and interesting.

Next, I want to express my appreciation of Sherri Shepherd. She's a funny woman, and I've found her infinitely entertaining on The View. I also think she is sometimes subjected to unwarrented criticism from the blogosphere, and I do believe Sherri is an intelligent woman. This isn't the first time Sherri has responded to my Tweets, and she is great fun. I really like her.

Finally, I have to make a confession. I myself struggle with understanding transgendered issues. I'm a gay man, and I've always felt that I'm just that: a man who is attracted to other men. I have never felt uncomfortable in my own skin (well, at least not because of my reproductive organs), and I've never once felt that I was meant to have been born a woman. (I have sometimes wished it, but that's just because there's a hot straight guy I want to sleep with. :b) For me, understanding those feelings is something completely alien, and it is hard to comprehend. Furthermore, I have a hard time reconciling transgenderism (I refuse to refer to it as gender identity disorder, because I don't think it's a disorder at all) with my feminist belief that gender is a social construction. That, though, is another blog for another time.

Still, I don't doubt that transgendered people really do feel that they were born in the wrong body. And I don't think that a transgendered person, in the case of Thomas Beatie a female to male—or FTM—is any less a man than am I. Because gender is a social construction, I believe that a person can identify themselves as a man or a woman regardless of their physiological sex.

And therein lies the point I was trying to make to Sherri. Sex and gender are two different beasts entirely. Sex is a physiological, biological trait like eye colour and height. It is chromosomal. Merriam-Webster defines sex as:

1: either of the two major forms of individuals that occur in many species and that are distinguished respectively as female or male especially on the basis of their reproductive organs and structures
2: the sum of the structural, functional, and behavioral characteristics of organisms that are involved in reproduction marked by the union of gametes and that distinguish males and females

Gender, on the other hand, is a complete social construction. Gender is the societal assigning of certain appropriate behaviors and traits based on physiological sex. To put it another way, gender is what we tell males and females they should be. Merriam-Webster defines gender as “the behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits typically associated with one sex.”

Gender is assigned based on sex, but gender is fluid, and both males and females can have a gender expression that is not in line with the behavioral, cultural, and psychological traits typically associated with their sex. Gender is a collection of behaviors societies attribute to a sex. And these gender norms can change. In ancient Egypt, men wore makeup. In the Victorian era women didn't play sports. In the 1950s women weren't expected to have jobs. Now they're expected to “have it all.” In the 1980s men who cared about their appearance were abnormal; now they're “metrosexual.”

I'm not going to spend an exorbitant amount of time explaining how gender is different than sex, because I think the readers of my blog are intelligent enough to have figured it out on their own (if they didn't already know). My point is that a man can self-identify as a woman, if not a female, and vice versa. Is Thomas Beatie a male? I don't know. I don't really know how the medical community defines changing ones physiology, especially since I assume, anyway, he is still chromosomaly female. But that's not the point. The problem is the co-hosts of The View kept insisting Mr. Beatie isn't a man. He is definitely a man. Gender is a social construction and therefore assigned, not inherent. If something is assigned, it can be reassigned. Thomas Beatie reassigned his gender identity to fit what he felt it truly is. That makes him a man. Not a woman. A male? I honestly don't have the answer to that. But he most certainly is a man.

It's actually very timely that Mr. Beatie gives birth again this week, because out in California, the land of Prop H8, a radio station has recently found itself in a heap of hot water over vile comments made about transgendered children on its morning show. The Rob, Arnie, and Dawn show on KRXQ in Sacramento aired a show at the end of May in which the two cohosts, Rob Williams and Arnie States, made vicious statements about transgendered children. Some of the more vile, frightening comments Williams and States calling transgendered children “freaks” and States saying that if his (hypothetical) son ever put on a pair of high heels he would beat said son with said heels. Dawn Rossi, the third co-host, was the only one to defend trans children.

This blatant transphobia ignited a firestorm throughout the blogosphere, and was broken by Autumn Sandeen over at Pam's House Blend. GLAAD soon stepped in and has done a brilliant job at drawing attention to the hatred espoused by Williams and States. In a broadcast last week, the cohosts addressed their statements and criticism, refusing to apology, playing the role of victims being bullied, and defending their hateful remarks as an expression of freedom of speech. Following that, several advertisers (over 10), including McDonald's and most recently the University of California at Davis Medical Center—which in recent years has been the recipient of hundreds of thousands of dollars in fund raising on behalf of KRXQ and The Rob, Arnie and Dawn Show—have terminated their contracts and relationships with the station and show. Now forced into a corner, this morning at 7:30 PDT (that's 10:30 EDT/9:30 CDT) the show will return, after being off-the-air for the past three mornings, with a two-and-a-half hour show dedicated to transgendered issues. Autumn Sandeen will be in the studio, as will TransYouth Family Ally executive director Kim Pearson. The station will be fielding listener calls, and I think it will be a truly fascinating dialogue.

The comments on The View and on Rob, Arnie, and Dawn in the Morning are definitely in different leagues. Rob Williams and Arnie States advocated violence toward children (despite their protests to the contrary) and the women on The View simply expressed their ignorance. (I don't mean ignorance as in stupidity, but ignorance as in simply not knowing.) However, both are indicative of a wider social issue, which is the lack of understanding and compassion for transgendered people. It's a serious problem when we can't even pass a trans-inclusive hate crimes act through Congress. (And it's disgusting that the gay community was willing to throw our trans brothers and sisters under the bus to get the act passed.)

Transgendered people are simply expressing a different gender identity. Gender has nothing to do with physiology and therefore nothing to do with sex, which means a person can identify as a man and not be biologically male. These comments serve to reaffirm my personal belief that homophobia and transphobia are really the byproducts of sexism and patriarchy.
Ash
Ashley Hoskins

 
When you were talking about "gender as a social construction" it reminded me of a movie you should watch.  It's called Belle Epoque and it's wonderful.  It's actually one of my recent favorites as far as movies go.  It's kind of about four women who represent different aspects of female sexuality and it touches on gender acquirement through social interaction.  It's Spanish...so if you don't mind subtitles...

 
Posted by Ash on [11 Jun 2009 | Thursday] - 4:14 PM
[Reply to this
Sally
Sally Hale

 
We have a guy that comes into the station, well he used to, he was  a transgendered person but the damnest thing is that he would only date straight men. ? We asked him about it one day because, well, that's a hellva thing to hide. lol He said it was surprising easy. ? He was much more beautiful as a woman but seriously, come on.
 
Posted by Sally on [11 Jun 2009 | Thursday] - 4:14 PM
[Reply to this
Yo Momma

 
Skylar, I'm really impressed by your eloquence...and thanks, because it really is confusing to look at and accept Thomas as a man.  After reading what you wrote, I think that internal struggle he has is clearer for me (as someone who never struggled with identity) to understand.  I appreciate what you have to say, and the incredibly understanding way in which you replied to the ladies of the View...you really are to be commended :)

 
Posted by Yo Momma on [12 Jun 2009 | Friday] - 1:46 PM
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~*~Sweetashoney~*~
Desiree Honeycutt

 
Very well put.  I applaud you for speaking out about this issue!
 
Posted by ~*~Sweetashoney~*~ on [12 Jun 2009 | Friday] - 2:25 PM
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Pedro
Pedro Dixon

 
....STOP! Please, let’s not cram anyone intentional bodily alterations down the throats of others. Please, don’t attack the Ladies of The View who are expressing their rights to free speech. This person birth as human was born a un-to this earth a woman. As such she can bare children. She (the woman) for whatever reason, and they are her own choice, choused to follow-up on her how she is feeling and externally what she want to look like. ........Man can only alter the appearance externally and mole portions of the internal organs. But, the reality and facts are this is still a child-baring woman. Men were never intended to bare or birth a child period. Because someone chose to alter his or her looks to appear other than what they look like? This doesn’t change their biological make-up. A drag queen could be considered a transvestite unless someone explores them more closely.  Some people may say a born female who alters their face or reduce their breast to look like a man baring children is a freak. I think it’s great that our society has accepted these indifferences in people and allowing many wonderful folks who feel different about them selves and to go on with their lives. You are what you are and people do see what they see. May our Gods bless us all. ....
 
Posted by Pedro on [12 Jun 2009 | Friday] - 3:05 PM
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Lauren
Lauren Coleman

 
You're not understanding the difference between "sex" and "gender".  He explained it all pretty clearly. You should read it again.

 
Posted by Lauren on [12 Jun 2009 | Friday] - 5:35 PM
[Reply to this
Sue H.

 
Most excellent entry!
 
Posted by Sue H. on [12 Jun 2009 | Friday] - 3:49 PM
[Reply to this
Karen

 
Beautifully written, with great sensitivity!  What a joy to see such depth and understanding in someone so young!


 
Posted by Karen on [12 Jun 2009 | Friday] - 5:35 PM
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Lauren
Lauren Coleman

 
Exactly!

 
Posted by Lauren on [12 Jun 2009 | Friday] - 5:35 PM
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Paula
Paula Lattouf

 
Very well written piece. I do have a question though. And it's an honest question.  On sexual reassignment(Chasity Bono)...can she now legally marry a woman? And if so...is society saying you must "look" the part in order to participate?  Would that not create a whole sea of people opting for sex change surgery in order to marry their loved one?  The question came up the other day, and I really had no response.  Based on "marriage is a partnership between male and female"..the answer would technically be yes they could. But could they? Is there a chromosomal change in sexual reassignment? And the top just keeps spinning and spinning....

Could I please have your thoughts?  ..tatoopaula@yahoo.com..
 
Posted by Paula on [13 Jun 2009 | Saturday] - 3:23 AM
[Reply to this
uRmwhynot

 
I'd like to applaud your effort into explaining such a trivial thing as gender.. Especially since you do not have to even consider these things personally, in reflection of yourself, and your gender identity.

Thanks for sharing!!

 
Posted by uRmwhynot on [24 Jun 2009 | Wednesday] - 7:28 PM
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