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I find myself asking "WHO RAISED YOU?" more and more these days.
Not in the, "I care to know more about your parents" sense.
More like in the "I'm sure you were born a nice person, but somewhere along the way, all the nice got sucked out of you" sense.
Now, before you mistake me for one of those regional haranguers, I don't think this level of douchitude is limited to Los Angeles. I hear way too many people say that this city is a particular breeding ground for assholes...and it sure can be...but I think assholism has become a worldwide problem. SOMEBODY had to kidnap Ingrid Betancourt, and it probably wasn't an Angeleno. I don't think anyone from Los Angeles is threatening to behead gay people in The Gambia. George Bush wasn't raised here either. Nuff said.
There just seems to be a plethora of bad behavior everywhere I look these days...
- It's the old man at my gym who insists on walking from the showers back to his locker dripping wet and without a towel.
- It's the guy walking down the street not watching where he's going and banging into me while I'm carrying three bags of groceries...and he didn't apologize, he didn't say anything, he just kept on walking.
- It's the woman who honked her horn and tried to drive me off the rode while I was being all green and shit and riding my bicycle. And I was in the bike lane! AND then she cut me off so she could make a right turn. Driver's Ed 101! Allow the cyclists in bike lanes to pass BEFORE moving your 2 tons of steel into said lane to make a turn!
- It's the unsmiling guy who walks his shit-tsu by my house every day, and even though I have said "hello" to him countless times, he never bothers to say anything back. In fact, he doesn't even make eye contact.
- It's the next door neighbor who talks to his dog using this annoying high-pitched squeal and says things like, "Yes! Who's the pretty girl? Is it you?"....AT THREE IN THE MORNING...ON A WEEK NIGHT...WITH HIS WINDOWS WIDE OPEN!
- It's the person in front of me who gave me the finger because I tapped a friendly toot on my horn as she sat at the green light for ten seconds texting her friend.
- It's the customer waiting next to me at the Apple Genius Bar who drew me into her drama by asking me if I saw the problem on her iMAC screen that she was seeing. When I politely told her I didn't, she said, "Well, you're obviously not an expert."
- It's the guy at the Soup Plantation who thinks that just because there's a Sneeze Guard covering the salads 'n fixins [you like that? salads 'n fixins?], it's ok for him not to cover his mouth when he sneezes.
- It's the guy in the back of the line at the Post Office who was incensed that I, who was waiting patiently at the front of the line, was waited on first when one of the workers opened up a new window calling for pickups only. He actually said, "Come on now!" When the worker told him that I was obviously ahead of him, he compounded his douchewadholism by mewling, "But I was closer to your counter when you called it!"
SO AGAIN, I ASK, "WHO RAISED YOU?!!!!"
5:55 AM
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