by Dave Bertrand
Deep in the mire of southeast Vancouver is a crusty little shack making a lot of noise – it’s Command HQ for a quartet of talented backwater ragamuffins called the Stumbler’s Inn. Here’s the lowdown: three real brothers from Nanaimo, Jeff, Al, and Graham (in order of descending age and increasing height) – who’s childhood babysitter happened to be a hot, young, pre-Starbucks Choice Diana Krall - plus “adopted” brother Chuck. Together, they bust out some of our fair city’s simplest and finest pure-bred bongified honk n’ roll. This conversation was absolutely conducted under the influence.
Nerve: A little familial and musical history, please.
Al: We had a pretty musical family – my Mom’s a piano teacher, my Dad played sax in a rock n’ roll band. We all wore maroon jackets!
Graham: Growing up we all had to take piano, though we weren’t ideal students or what you’d call a ‘musical family’.
Al: It was by no means Partridge.
Graham: The last fucking thing any of us wanted to be was a brothers band. For the first two and a half years of this band, we wouldn’t even admit it to people. The ‘brothers thing’ is just the worst… like the Brothers Gibb.
Nerve: And Jeff, even though he’s the oldest, was the last to join the group?
Graham: When we found out he was moving over, we figured: have Jeff show up. If he plays with us and it’s good, he’s in the band. If he plays with us and it sucks, we have to figure out how Jeff’s not going to be in the band.
Al: All you had was that faggy little Casio or whatever the fuck that was.
Graham: It’s hard being brothers because… When you get into a fight, that fight is twenty years old.
Al: And every fucking band fights… but when you got brothers fighting, it’s like fisticuffs man. We’ll be jumping over seats and punching each other out, like brawls. Chuck is the most neutral guy you ever met in your life. That’s why he’s the most valuable member of this band right now. He’s so calm, he just displays the right path in so many ways. Fuck, he rules.
Nerve: Chuck, how does it feel to have three brothers stroke your cock?
Chuck: My head gets as big as a balloon.
Nerve: Has the Stumbler’s Inn ever been douched?
Graham: We’re practicing twice a week, jamming six hours straight each time, so we’re like, “We need a show.” I have a mental breakdown one night, and run into these guys from this porn-funk band Slow Nerve Action. After an hour-long talk, they said we could open for them… So we packed the show. It was at The Silvertone. Almost everyone left when Slow Nerve Action went on - and then they didn’t pay us. I was like, “So, how much did we make?” “Well, posters cost this much, and this costs that much...” I think they got choked at us or something. We figured that was our introduction to the music business – playing a show and not getting dick.
Nerve: What’s up with the bus in your backyard?
Chuck: Well, it’s a school bus, and we’re gonna fix her up and use her as a tour vehicle. Put some bunk beds in it. Drive her around. Road Dog!
Nerve: She doesn’t have a female name?
Graham: Lady Road Dog!
Al: Any fuckin’ female thing that has an engine, I call a ‘dirty slut’ or a ‘whore’. [awkward silence]
Graham: That is a shit name… It sucks.
Jeff: Name it The Stumblette, or something.
Al: Our fuckin’ bus isn’t a chick, man. It’s a fuckin’… That’s Road Dog! Fuckin’ it’s not gonna be Tweedle-dee or Tweedle-dum. It’ll be Road Dog. Me and Chuck are gonna fuckin’ overhaul that little slut.
Nerve: What’s the story behind the new album’s wicked cover art?
Graham: Adam Gandy went out and he painted that house, which is a real house on 11th and Oak. That house, it’s just… creepy.
Nerve: Could you tell me about some of your songs? Is Sally Joe a girl you know?
Al: Yeah man! That’s a real woman. Basically, it’s therapy. I fuckin’ never went to rehab or any of that kind of shit. Everything I do, I get myself into it, I get myself out… A song like “My Friend” – I never fuckin’ blew no one’s head off. But that’s almost my tribute to Johnny Cash. I love Johnny Cash, Kris Kristofferson, fuckin’ Waylon and Willie, all these old boys. There’s been so many times where you’re down and out, and there’s nothing else you can do but just sit and fuckin’ drink. And you listen to these old songs, and it’s like, “Man, this guy knows.” There’s times where I felt like I was maybe in a space to communicate that sort of story too.
Nerve: Any last advice?
Graham: If you come to our show and eat some mushrooms or smoke some dope, you will have the best experience you can possibly imagine.n