People often ask me !

How do you pick who's gonna die?

My Answer is another question!

How do people get caught?

Basically, once you follow a pattern, people start to catch on.

You hear on the radio, someone murdered leaving a bar, simple, people act more careful. 

Do it different EVERY TIME. BUT,  still keep it common so that people listening still say that they should have been more careful. Being killed for being stupid.

How about a hitchhiker.

I'll tell you about the 2 hitchhikers Dave and Jenna.

Dave and Jenna were eloping. They were a couple smelly, earthy, hippy folk. She had hair on her legs, and in her armpits. And he was just the unfortunate asshole that got stuck with her.

I was cruising the highway, and along the side, there they were with a sign that said Wisconsin". I pulled over and told them to jump in. MAN, these 2 stank, I don't think they've showered in days. How disrespectful to get into someone's car with such a foul odor.

After about 10 minute's of putting up the smell, I couldn't handle it anymore.  I pulled into an abandoned farmhouse.  I told them that I had to take a piss.

There was a barn, the door was wide open and swinging in the wind. I went in and looked around. I found an old beat up chair. I brought it back out and left it in the open doorway.

When I came back outside the hippy chick was looking up, and dancing in circles, arms flailing. I had enough, I pulled out my gun, and shot her in the knee cap. She fell to the ground.  Her boyfriend, the chicken shit, panicked and locked all the doors in the car. Haha.

I walked over to her. She looked confused, and was mumbling "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god",  I looked down at her and shot her other knee cap.  I dragged her over to the chair, I actually touched that fuckin gross dreadlock rat nest. When I got her there, I picked her up and sat her in the chair.  I went back to my car and noticed that her boyfriend was still in the back, trying to hide? What an idiot. Darwin was a genius.

I grabbed some duct tape and rope out of the trunk. I duct taped her mouth shut. I was about to rope her to the chair, but then I realized... 2 busted out knee caps? Where's she gonna go. That was kind of convenient, I liked that. That ended up being one of my favorite things to do after that, it saved on rope.

I went to the car and calmly said "Dave , come out the car please". He shuttered, but still tried to hide, he acted like he couldn't hear me. "Dave" I said, I got a fuckin gun, GET OUT OF THE CAR", he didn't move. I guess he was pretty scared. I picked up one the big boulders from the ground, and tossed it into the window, I didn't want to waste a bullet. I opened the car door, and pulled him out by the ankles. There was no fight in this pussy. I dragged him to his girlfriend (fiancée) and left him there. She looked at him with tears in her eyes. I pointed my gun at him and told him to lie still.  I went and grabbed another boulder from the ground, he wasn't even looking at me, he was stuck in stare with his girl. I put the boulder over my head and before he even knew it, I was dropping it onto his face.  He didn't even know it was coming. It bounced off his head like a rubber ball.  It was one of those perfect hits that you could only imagine when I looked at his face after, he nose was crushed right off, or in?, he lost most of his teeth, and he was even bleeding out the ears. He was still conscious but gurgling. Blood bubbles we're popping out of where his nose should have been. I couldn't tell the difference between his chin and his mouth, so wasn't sure if there was even a jaw left.

Jenna tried to get up, but collapsed beside him, she looked at him like she wanted to kiss him, but she couldn't tell where the mouth was either, she just cuddled her head into the bloody mess, and mumbled even louder.  I picked her up then ended up using my rope to tie her to the chair. She closed her eyes, so … well, I cut one of her eye lids off.

I was careful, I made sure I didn't hurt the actual eye ball.

I picked up the boulder again, and slammed it on his face again. The boulder was about the size of a basket ball, and it was heavy. I remember hurting my shoulder. That made me a bit angry, so I put even more anger into it.  "SLAM" this time, the boulder didn't bounce, it just sat there on his face, the ground underneath him started to indent. After about 5 more slams of the boulder, I thought his head was flat, but nope, he has about 3 inches into the ground.

The bastard must have been high, he was still alive. his head was moving side to side like a twitch .. Maybe it was just nerves.  One of his eyes was sticking out the side of his crushed head, I couldn't tell if he could still see out of it. It was still attached. Anyway I ended up ripping it off and giving it to his girl ( I taped it to her forhead) . Haha she didn't like that much. She fainted.You ever seen a fainted girl with one eye open?  It's creepy.

I was getting hungry, so I decided to finish this one off.  I wasn't too worried about the guy getting out alive, so I just left him for the wildlife, but her?  She still had no life threatening injuries.

She was passed out, I didn't want to wait for her to wake up. I cut off her top, cut off one of her nipples for a souvenir , then stabbed her in the heart.

This story never even made the news OR the papers. I'm not sure why they wanted to keep it a secret. So this confession is strictly between you, me, and the police.

Consider yourself lucky.