Taken from blog spot.



Is it sad that despite it being such a strong topic, that just while stating that, I could not help but to think of the night at the roxbury song?I believe love, has its different interpratations, depending on the person and subject at hand. you can have love for material possessions, ie: I love sweaters, Yes, I am an 85 year old lady at heart, it is true. I also "love" the soap that I took from the hotel the other night, it moisturizes really well, but when it comes down to it, does anyone really know their OWN  definition of love? I am not going into a lenghthy discussion of what love is, what generations of love birds have to say, what people love and don't love, the 100 definitions according to webster and that of merriam as well, or anything of that sort. I have always just been a curious person and wonder what people have to think of different things. I believe there are different types of love, but they are too vast to even begin to summarize into  a small, inadequate paragraph by a girl who just sits and contemplates everything underneath the sun, including the sun itself. I will say though that I believe there are friendship love, love that you have for a soulmate, love through Christ,  ,materialistic and lustful love, delusional love, c'mon lets face it, there are always things we have to convince ourselves of to truly love, as well as many others. I think Love is too vast to even begin to comprehend. I think we all try to simpilize it as l.o.v.e., not as the bold and beautiful, never ending, soul trusting thing that it is. Trust plays a big part into love I believe.Everyone is born with a trusting heart, we have to, our life depends on it, literally.  I think some people tend to forget that even as we grow older, it still is a very important and crucial thing. We put ourselves into a bubble that we can be strong, we don't need this, we don't need that, but the truth is, we do. We are born with the trusting instinct, I believe it is life and the circles that we intertwine within our lives that break this circle of trust. What does it take to mend the circle back? What does it take to truly give that circle to someone and know that they will cherish your being as a whole, let you be you, and that be ok? And to trust even your own self with your circle, we all second guess ourselves a lot and in return miss  a lot of beautiful opportunities. I am glad that I have taken some of those opportunities, there are still a lot more out there as well though, but I don't let myself fall into them because of insecurities.We all have our insecurites, some rational, some not. Sometimes we all really need to find out which ones we can live with and which ones we cannot. Some affect your daily lives and not in a good way. I wonder what life would be like without insecurities. But then again, it may be these insecurities that protect us from harm some times. I do believe people are born with some certain fears and anxities , that in the end do protect us. IE. My brother has an adamant personality when it comes to people putting on seatbelts ,who knows, it may protect him sometime. But as usual, I have strayed off topic, I will discuss insecurities and fears on a later date. As for now,  I will go back to what is love? do we truly even keep full love in our hearts? Do we ever truly let anyone "in"? I believe so. I believe also though that as insecure and selfish instincted people sometimes that we do try to keep certain guards up, but thats ok sometimes, because once you let those down, and you DO trust someone, you can look back on it and know that it is something major that you have accomplished, because while winning an eating contest may be a great accomplishment and all, or winning the 5th grade spelling bee , to trust something that so deep within you truly is an accomplishment, you can always have the potential, but sometimes you have to open your eyes, stop squinting and looking for a con, and just go for it. I get in these weird emotional moods where it seems I have to act out very irrational and subconsiously "test" everyone. I don't know why, I just do, am I testing loyalty or what? I know people are loyal, so why I do this, I really don't know. It is then that I find myself questioning what I love and what I don't. I find myself burdened and very stressed out, but when I calm down, I am reflective again and become grounded in reality again. Sometimes I think I am truly crazy, or maybe a lot of people do this and I am just unaware. Either way, I truly need to calm down within myself or I will push people away and that is the last thing I want to do.... I think sometimes we truly do need to reflect on what is truly important to us, what we need, what we don't, what we can live with, or without, what we could find joy in, not just momentary happiness, to declare a person mission statement of sorts what love is to us, how we can shape the world with it, starting with our very own lives, to apply it with our loved ones, our communities, our world, it takes one small step, and the first is of your very own, I need to do this myself. I am such a hectic person and very emotional but I stubborn up a lot as well, and always think I am making a mess out of everyones lives, but, I think I only make a "mess" of my own. I need to do just as I said and declare and to truly believe in love. It is there. ( to be continued)